Confidant & Playlist

22. The Aftermath Pt. 1

With the last word of our song, I let the sound of the final chord flow in the summer breeze. I set my guitar down beside me. Sitting in the smooth sand with my back against a couple of rocks, I look up at the sky. My chest tightens as hot tears begin to flow down my cheeks in droves.

And this where she decided take me for our last day together... A salty breeze blows. If only she told me what was really going on....maybe we could have done more but I can't say she didn't know what I like. It was a good day. I knew when I asked her what was wrong and she wouldn't tell me that something was up but I guess I hoped was something minor. Everything was perfect. I was finally with the woman I love for good.

Off in the distance I hear a car door close. Looking to my right I make out a woman accompanied by two children.

This isn't a well known public beach...how do they know where this is?

The woman and the children grow nearer and she looks like someone I know. The waves come crashing in followed by another breeze. I watch them. Once they're within ten feet I recognize her. My eyes widen just as she and the children stop walking. She squats down between them, says something and the little girl runs toward me. The little girl squeals she runs to me and stops just in time to sit beside me. She's wearing a white tee, a navy skirt and navy Converse with a colorful bow in her hair. She grins up at me and her face shape immediately reminds me of Lacey. I simply stare at her in awe. She's beautiful little thing with thick dark curls and large bright brown eyes. Her whole demeanor changes, her cheerful, dimpled expression disappears. She reaches for my face and wipes away a tear that I didn't even know fell.

"Why are you crying?"

I wipe away the last of the tears; her hand retreats. 

"I was thinking about someone I miss very much," I say to her before I glance at the ocean and run my right hand through my hair attempting to lose my upset expression.

"She's gone now." The little girl moves closer to me and peers up into my eyes.

"What happened to her?"

I take a deep breath. 

"She passed away," I say quietly.

"My mommy passed away too," She says quietly, matching my volume. 

"I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too. I don't remember her too much but my brother says she was very pretty and nice. He said that she told him to look after me." She tosses some of her curls out of her face.

"What was her name?"

"Lacey," I pause. "Laceanna."

"That's was my mommy's name and that's my name too," she replies brushing an unruly curl from her face. She digs her hands into the sand.

"Really?"

"Uh huh, it was my mommy's first name but it's my second name."

"What is your name?" I ask with a weak smile. 

"Brooklynn," she looks off into the direction she came from. Delancy holds the hand of the little boy as he clings to her with his arm around her hip. They stand watching. She looks back at me.

"But my Tiadeli and my brother, Angel calls me Bia."

"That's a nice name."

"Thank you." She smiles and her little eyes nearly close as her lips spread to show her teeth and deep dimples dot each of her cheeks. "What's your name?" 

"Bruno," I say. 

"That's my daddy's name."

"Really?"

"Uh huh," She stands and looks at me.

"I wanna tell you a secret." I lean toward her and she cups her little chubby hands around my right ear.

"You're my daddy." I jerk backward and stare at her. She clamps her hands over her face and begins giggling. At the moment Delancy bends down and says something to the little boy and ushers him forward but he doesn't move. After another try she take his hand again and the two of them join Bia and I. The little girl smiles up at Delancy then points at the little boy. 

"This is my brother," She pulls the shirt of the little boy who gives a hard look but then his face returns to the shy look it had moments ago.

"And this is my Tiadeli." I stand and look at the children then her.

"Hey little guy," I say weakly.

"Hi," he says softly looking up to me. He studies me in a way that reminds me of Lacey.

"It's been a while Delancy," I say. She looks very much like I remember but she looks older in a way, worn and there's a sad look in her dark eyes. 

"It has," she pauses and Angel steps closer to her. "How have you been?"

"Been better, I miss her."

"I miss her too." My voice shakes and the wind blows. Bia trots across the beach to a bush of wild flowers. Delancy looks at Angel then Bia. 

"They're yours you know."

"That's what Bia said but...how can they be? Lace never said anything to me. She never showed...there wasn't even a sign."

"Lacey was always very good at hiding things."

"There's no way the time period makes any type of sense..." 

"It does. Angel is seven and Bia is five. Two years apart. They were the reason Lacey stopped spending time with you, it was when she was pregnant and taking care of them. They are why she quit working at the club and they are why she never agreed to be with you. She was trying to protect your lifestyle and in turn she went through alot of pain because of you. All she kept telling me was "I can't do this to him. Do you know what it would look like if it got out that Bruno Mars had children with an exotic dancer?"

Tears well up in her eyes but she wipes them away angrily. My throat begins to close and the words I was thinking of saying disappear on my tongue.

"She did all of that for you. Even after she was diagnosed she still, went to work, took care of her kids and appeared to be perfectly healthy for you. All because she loved you. She told me what she didn't want to worry you with something you could do nothing about. She said that she wanted to spend all the time she could with you the way you met her. She refused to have treatment and she just barely took medications for her condition. She planned everything for her last day and made all the arrangements for the kids there after."

Now tears are streaming down her face but she doesn't wipe them away so they flow freely dampening the sand at her feet.

"She really loved you Bruno, she really, really loved you."My chest shakes as the tears and sobs ensue. I feel a tugging at my pants leg and when I look down, I see Bia.

"It's ok daddy, everything is gonna be ok," she says sweetly looking up to me with doe eyes. I knot forms in my throat. I reach down and ruffle her curls and then look back at Delancy who's face is now bright red with swollen eyes and tears streaked with tears. Reaching forward, I pull Delancy into my arms.

"I'm sorry D, I'm so sorry," I manage to say despite my tears. The two us hold each other until the sobs subside. Delancy takes a large envelope out of her purse and hands it to me. She voice still shakes.

"These are letters she wrote to you and the kids along with the custody papers. She told me when I thought you were ready I should have you meet them. She said that she would like for you to have full custody of them but if you aren't ready I can keep them until you are."

"She wants me to have them and I would love to have them."

"Thank you Delancy."