Confidant & Playlist

9. End of May

Mid Janurary 2011

"Delancy, you sure you're still ok with watching Angel for another whole day? You've missed three nights of work already.

"Lacey, it's alright, I promise. I love watching my nephew. All you need to worry about is going to this appointment and this court case. You can't let this fucker walk." She pulls her hair up into a ponytail and I walk to the door. She joins me and gives me a tight hug. "Just tell the truth, everything else will work itself out."

I hug her back and take a deep breath. "I'll call you when I'm on my way back," I say pulling on my hood.

"I'll be here."

Walking out if the apartment, I lock the door and take the elevator down to the main level. Outside the sky has opened; rain pours down allover. Umbrella-less I pull my hood further over my head. The natural grey of the sidewalks have been soaked several shades darker; they gleam from a far; nearly transparent darkness lies beneath. The sky resembles a down cast face; similar to mine. Buildings of deep maroon bricks drip dirty tears. I keep my distance from those walking around me, bobbing and weaving through the crowd with unintended skill and no one notices me. I size up the train terminal ahead and place my steps accordingly. I just have to make it there for now. As long as I walk quickly it will be fine. Just as I am about to reach the train terminal on the corner a familiar grey car pulls up beside me. The passenger window comes down.

Soft, all too familiar brown eyes meet mine; my chest begins to ache. "You look like you could use a ride," he says in his unintentional TV personality voice. "Get in, you're getting soaked." He adds. He leans over and opens the car door. I hesitate; he tilts his head to me. I get in and close the door. Carefully I set my bag down and take my hood off. We sit in the car unmoving in dead silence for at least a minute; the time is like growing fear, at type of agony. "How are you doing?" He asks finally breaking the dreaded silence. For the first few seconds, I say nothing but then I feel his eyes on me. I look at him. "Lacey," he says leaning to me. He runs his thumb beneath each of my eyes. "Please don't." I touch my face and is damp but not from the rain. "Crying doesn't suit you."

For the duration of the car ride I say nothing to him but I'm happy that he came. We pull up to the psychologist's office, park and walk to the office of my designated office for my appointment. Meredith, my lawyer provided by Bruno, is already there.

"Laceanna, Bruno, good you're here." I step forward. "The evaluation shouldn't be long, you should't have to force yourself. As long as enough information has been gathered, if things get rough in there just say the word and we can leave." I nod.

"I'll be right outside the door." He sits on a bench beside the door and I glance look at him. His dark eyes are still and hurt but caring. I take a deep breath and walk inside.

_______

The door closes. I settle into the hard wooden bench and worry begins to run rampant in my mind. She has to sit in there and go through the whole thing all over again to the psychologist and then in court; hasn't she been through enough? I want to be angry with her...I do but I can't...I can't just turn my back on her. I can't blame her for her choice but I can't say that I'm not upset that she made it. I've been with Jess for a while and yet...I still can't say that I'm over Lacey. The hallway is quiet, nearly silent except for the constant rhythm of raindrops against the window panes and the muffled noise of conversation coming from the office. I tilt my head back to the wall and look up at the colorless ceiling. A deep breath escapes my chest. Sometimes I understand her so well...and other times she makes no sense to me. She can be so straight forward then so cryptic. The muffled sound of the psychologist asking questions and the quiet, strangely timid, muffled version of Lacey's voice replies. Just then my phone begins to vibrate. I pull it out quickly and walk over to the window at the end of the hall. Looking at the caller ID.