Aella (manxman) - ON HOLD

Waterfall

Ceri

"You're the most beautiful", he whispered and nibbled my ear.

He had awakened not long ago. He stretched, drank water and washed his body at the waterfall. Then he walked back and stared down at me. He attempted to start a conversation with me, but I wasn't up to it. I was tired and unfocused. My head was bristling with a thousand thoughts that tormented me all night, so I didn't meet his gaze. He asked if I slept and I told him that I kept watching all night like I promised. He watched me for a full moment silently, before he moved to sit close to me.

He sat with his chest to my back and his legs on either side of me. His right hand sneaked on my abs and I unconsciously flinched and pushed it away.

"Sorry", he immediately said, sounding truly apologetic, not angry, "I won't touch your chest or stomach, I promise. I just...... I want you close to me. Is that alright?"

close to me... why would he want that after everything I caused him?

Even my body looked weak and awful. My bones practically poking under my skin. This latter became ugly with tiny scars everywhere and bruises here and there. My side was still darker because of all the beating I took and a horrendous scar marred my foot.

His right hand squeezed mine, bringing me out of my thoughts. He nuzzled my hair.... my now darker droopy hair that didn't look clean and healthy even though I washed it several times yesterday, and twice during the night.

"I miss having a quiet, peaceful moment with you. My sweet Aella"

My heart fluttered at that.

I was so fed up with myself, so determined to change. A part of me wanted to cast away all my feelings in order to become stronger. That was the only idea I could come up with during the long night. Yet the way he calls me his sweet Aella...

"I'm sorry...", I found myself saying.

He scoffed softly, "I'm thankful"

I frowned. I was confused and I didn't dare ask what he meant. For some reason, I was starting to find it hard to speak to Ithel without feeling guilty or useless. We had an amazing night yesterday. We had more water than we could think of, we gobbled a whole fox, and we admired the beautiful sky. However, when he slept and the silence of the night settled in, the what ifs tormented me all night. And that weight hurt so much that I didn't even dare look in his eyes.

A familiar heaviness weighted on my tongue as well, rendering me slower with my thoughts, and barely able to speak without a stutter. I loathed this feeling. It was something I started getting rid of since I left the Aellas' territory to join the Aello clan. Now the anxiety was showing its ugly signs and it frightened me to realize how little I've changed....

As if he felt my confusion and knew I wasn't about to talk, he leaned closer and continued, "I'm thankful to the heavens for blessing me with you. I can't believe you are still with me and I can just sit with you in peace."