Blink; brendan gallagher

[ Chapter 8 ] • Her Second Mistake •

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Maybe it was the weather and the cold winds and snow against his bare skin numbing his body, but Brendan could've sworn that he'd never felt better in his life than he did in this moment. He couldn't stop staring at Tessa, who in turn was looking between him and the sky.

"Say something, anything Tess," Brendan smiled, he was hopeful for her response.

She looked at him, bewildered by his confession, "I don't know what you want me to say."

"Whatever you want. Whatever your feeling, just anything," Brendan smiled to encourage her.

"Tell me don't love me," She asked. So quietly Brendan almost missed what she said.

"What?" The smile fell from his face, and the numbing feeling throughout his body was replaced with a burning feeling across his skin.

She took a deep breath, "Take it back. Tell me don't love me. Please- I don't, I don't know what you were expecting, but I-" she stopped herself and turned to look away from him. "I can't say it back. I do love you Bren, but not in the way you want to love you."

She could feel the tears running down her cheeks. Brendan's ice cold hands were replaced with the wind blowing through her finger tips. "You should go." He whispered.

"Brendan-"

"Just go," she could see he was holding back tears. He refused to cry in front of her, it was cold enough that he could swear his built up tears would freeze to his eyelashes.

She took a shaky breath and stopped herself from crying. Wiping away her own tears using her hands, she was aware of the mess her makeup must be by this point. "If that's what you really want..."

"It is. I want you to go," Brendan could feel his heart shatter more every time he told her to go. Every time he told her to leave, he wanted to hold her in his arms and never let her go. He wouldn't keep her, if she didn't want to be; he wouldn't force her to stay.

Turning she walked away and to her car.

Brendan watched her, hoping she'd turn around and look back one last time. When she got into her car without even glance at him, he turned and walked back to the building, ready to embrace the warmth of the inside lobby.

When she reached her car, she sat down at the drivers seat. She felt more sick than she had before. She finally found the strength to look up and see Brendan heading back inside the building without even a second glance her way.

She didn't know she was crying until she let out a strangled sound, her voice crying out only in that moment for the pain her heart was enduring. Tessa held her chest as she sobbed, unzipping her coat and starting her car in order to feel heat. The feeling in her chest was like someone had grabbed her heart and twisted and pulled in different directions until it was unable to beat normally. It felt as though half of her heart was missing.

"It's too late," she whispered. "I fucked up good this time. It's too goddamn late to take it all back."

She shifted her car into drive, her second fuck up of that night.

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By the time Brendan had reached Alex's apartment again, everyone had quit playing the game. The conversations they were having ceased the minute he walked back into the apartment without Tessa.