What happened to Amanda? A Law & Order SVU Fanfic

Medications and Realisations

Warning: descriptions of physical and sexual violence.

Liv, Fin and Nick arrived outside Amanda's room together, eager to go in and see their friend that they'd missed so dearly. They were met at the door by a young female nurse.

"Ah, Lieutenant Benson... Detectives..." She smiled, turning to each of them individually. "I'm Jen Martinez, I'll be Miss Rollins' nurse while she's staying at the hospital. I just thought I'd let you guys know a couple things before you went in."

"Go ahead." Fin said, trying to sound grateful. He just wanted to get in there and hug his partner.

"For starters, we had to sedate her to protect both the staff and her own safety. When she came to, she was very disoriented and became quite violent, particularly towards any of the male doctors and nurses." She paused, looking briefly to the ground before continuing. "From examining the bruising around her upper thighs and hips, we strongly believe she has been raped... Most likely more than once, we can't confirm this until she has consented to a rape kit. She also has extensive bruising and varying burns, indicating that she has been tortured severely. We haven't been able to assess her psychological state properly, so she may behave differently to when you saw her last."

"Okay... Uh, thanks Jen." Liv said, trying to take in what the young nurse had just told her. She knew Amanda had been tortured, and worse, she just didn't want to admit it to herself.

"No problem. I'll be by in a little while to run checks and let you know the results from the x-rays." Jen replied, before walking off down the hallway to another patient's room.

Nick quickly moved towards the door into the room, but was surprised when he felt Fin grab hold of his arm.

"Nick, hold up." He said, sighing to himself. "Listen, if that nurse is right and Amanda's scared of men, maybe we should wait out here and let Liv spend some time with her, y'know, suss out what she's thinking?"

"But we're her colleagues, her friends, she knows we'd never hurt her." He argued back, desperate to see her.

"Fin's right Nick, maybe it's best if I just see how she is first. We don't want her to cut herself off." Liv interjected.

"Fine." Nick huffed, raising his hands, walking backwards from the door and turning to make his way down the hall.

Liv turned awkwardly to Fin. "Liv, don't worry about him. Get in there and check on our girl." He reassured her, giving her a squeeze on the arm before making his way down the hall after Nick.

Liv approached the door, took a deep breath, and pushed it forward, entering the room. She made her way slowly towards the chair next to Amanda's bed, quietly taking a seat, being careful not to wake the blonde. She looked slowly around the room, taking in the various machines surrounding the bed, all making different noises.

She looked back to the bed, watching the condensation form and disappear on the inside of the oxygen mask as Amanda breathed in and out. Liv couldn't help but realise how small she looked, her body barely causing a bump in the sheets covering the bed. She lifted her gaze back to Amanda's face, there were dozens of cuts covering all areas of her skin, some had stitches holding them together, and they carried on down past the bruise on her neck to her chest and arms. Liv stopped at the bandages and brace on her wrists, she remembered Nick saying something about rope covered in blood... How bad did they hurt her?

Liv was so consumed in what John could've done to Amanda, that she didn't realise Amanda's eyes slowly flutter open. Only did she look up when Amanda quickly raised her hand to her face, frantically trying to remove the mask, getting it tangled in her hair in the process, her eyes opened wider as she began to hyperventilate and start kicking.