My thoughts

03/16/18 - Really?!

If you get offended easily don't read this because I'm not gonna be the nicey-nice girl right now due to how angry I am.

Will be posted in both books to get the message across.
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Okay, I'm officially pissed off.

I understand some of you are on the younger side and don't quite understand what my current situation is like or what I have to deal with on a daily basis.

But come on.

Telling me what I should use to cut instead of metal objects because I could possibly get an infection??

I'm not that stupid.

I'll cut with whatever I want, it's not your place to tell me what to use anyway. Plus, do you think I care about infections? That's the least of my worries right now.

And some of you saying that you understand exactly how I feel and that I should stop cutting anyway despite what's happened to me?

Firstly, No, I don't think you do understand. And secondly, just because you tell me to stop doesn't mean I will.

I get that most of you are attempting to help by trying to relate with my current situation, but certain individuals are pushing my buttons.

Be careful how you word things please.

You don't know what I'm going through because you aren't me.

If you say you've gone through similar or that you can -in some way, shape, or form- relate to something that's happened in my life or to me, then that's fine.

But don't go off saying you know exactly how I feel, because you don't.

If this doesn't make any sense then let me give you an example that is real and that was sent to me.

Anonymous: "I have slight depression, I know exactly how you feel right now but you should stop cutting"

I have manic depression and many forms of it. If you truly understood how I felt then you wouldn't have told me to stop self harming.

You get the point I'm trying to make right?

Am I wrong?

Again, this isn't about everybody, only certain individuals that I won't name.

Most of you are pretty good at keeping the comments respectful and controlled anyway.

3. Don't tell me to watch YouTube or to listen to music, it doesn't do shit for me.

Being an insomniac and a paranoid schizophrenic, seeing people on a screen doesn't make my disorders magically go away.

Some of you are acting like I've never even tried these methods before.

I've been abused and in this dark void since I was 7 years old.

I'm used to what gets thrown at me. These methods that work for normal people unfortunately don't have the same effect on me. If it helps you then that's great, but it does nothing for me.

If it did then I wouldn't be in this situation right now.

4. I'm not giving out my location so for those asking please stop.

5. And you'd be surprised on how many times I've been asked this,

NO I'M NOT A VIRGIN.

I've been raped twice and had 1 serious relationship that has ended awhile ago.

Why do you even care anyway? Like really?

5. I'm not doing any of this for attention, so stop saying that I am.

I'm not gonna further explain myself because it's pretty clear I'm not doing this for laughs.

I would address more that's bothering me but I believe those certain people get the point.

I'm not gonna apologize for being rude because I'm not the one at fault. I was simply pointing out things that angered me.

Don't ask unnecessary questions and if you're young then go watch cartoons or eat some sand, I don't care. Don't talk shit to me about something you know nothing about.

As for the majority of you that are the decent human beings, thank you for trying to help and for supporting my decisions.