Nanny Needed

Twenty-three

23. Conversations

"Jungkook? I'm not here to scare you or anything. I just want to get things straight." Jimin was the first to speak, taking the initiative. It was better to get this all done and over with.

There was one topic that they needed to discuss and that was Mister Kim SeokJin. It should be simple to say what they thought and felt about him. They were two men who were willing to talk. They had to be calm if needed but they both weren't men who liked confrontation.

"I know, it's just that I don't quite know what to say, I know you want to talk about Jin but I'm not quite sure what details. If you want to know if we had something, then the answer is no." Kookie didn't see any reason to prolong the answer to Jimin's unasked question.

"That might be true but you can't tell me he isn't attracted to you. Or that you aren't indifferent towards him. We could lie but I rather we be blunt about it. Like I said I come in peace." Jimin wasn't one who liked going around in circles. He liked to know where he stood.

"I can't say that I don't find him attractive. It might just be physical attraction. I've worked here for over a year and nothings happened. And nothing is going to. It will only be a few more months before I leave."

Jungkook knew that Jimin didn't need the assurance but it felt like it was good place to start. Jungkook wanted to let him know that if he lasted this long, a few months would be nothing. That feelings were not to be involved.

"You're leaving?" Jimin was confused. Almost surprised by his confession. "Do they know?"

"I already gave my notice. I'm actually here because he asked me to stay with the children until after the holidays." He didn't need to say the last part but it slipped his tongue.

"Oh, really?" It didn't take long for Jimin to gather why he was leaving.

"Don't. I know what you're thinking and maybe you're not far off. This needs to happen. It will be better for everyone, in the end." Kookie could see that Jimin was starting to piece together certain things. There was no doubt Jimin was a smart man to gather that much from the few minutes they were conversing.

Kookie was an open book. He could try to hide himself but his emotions are visible. Even NamJoon would gather as much without him needing to say a word. It didn't matter how much he tried to cover up. Was there a way for someone to be a closed up book instead of being able to be read by everyone?

"What did he do to make you runaway? Or are you just running away from your feelings? It's clear that you're running away here." Jimin looked concerned. Kookie was sort of expecting some anger or different emotion from him. He wasn't expecting concern.

"He, he—Mister Kim didn't try anything. I don't want you think that's the reason I'm leaving because it's not. I chose to leave because I didn't have time off. It ruined my first date with NamJoon." Kookie didn't want to go to the embarrassing details of that night. His emotions had got the best of him and SeokJin wasn't sorry for it.

In Jungkook's mind, Jin couldn't regret that he ruined the date. What he regretted was Jungkook's choice to give his notice. It was two weeks which Jin was quick to convince him to stay longer. Maybe he used the children as an excuse but Jungkook chose to accept that. That was a weak moment on his part. It was weak not to runaway at that moment.

He had to run from him. There was nothing to be gained in this time. All except a check. A check that wouldn't pay him for the hardships that his heart was going through. It was hard to swallow when SeokJin told him that Jimin would be coming over for Thanksgiving. It never crossed his mind to invite NamJoon, for him this was going to be time to spend solely with them.

"He didn't show up because he was with me? It was that night he got drunk. It had to be because I've never known him to drink that heavily. And, now that I remember, he said that he needed to go home early because his nanny would have the night off. He never left on time. He sabotaged your date.

"It's clear that he didn't do his job well. You're still with the doctor. I can't believe he would do that. I'm wasting my time with him, huh? He's in love with you. Why don't you give him a chance? You both like each other." That was one thing that Jimin couldn't understand on their part. Why would they date other people when they had something before them. Maybe it was love or maybe it wasn't but there was chemistry.

Jimin could feel it. All during dinner, it was clear to see the intensity of Jin's gaze. Jungkook shying away from him. How they tried to be discreet but couldn't keep away. What was it that kept them apart? Was it the reluctance on both their parts?

"It's not like that. I thought it could be. But I was wrong. He likes you. Isn't he with you? There is no reason to be with another man if he was in love with someone. Look, I think, what you're calling love is simply sexual desire. Just two bodies wanting to be with one another. Physical and that's all."

"You haven't come to terms with being in love with your boss. There's no kink in that. It happens in real life. Why can't you accept that?''

"I can't accept it when it— he can't love me." Kookie was breaking. His cry for help. His need to be saved from doomed romance.

"He loves you. You're the one that's stopping him from loving you. I can't say that you just love each other and it's going to be perfect because I don't know that. Maybe, I was just the person you needed to make you both realize it.

"What's not fair is that you make me and NamJoon think we have a chance at love here." Jimin was mature about it all. Kookie couldn't say that he could handle it with the same class as Jimin.

"NamJoon?" Why did Kookie feel guilty? Why couldn't he stand the thought of losing him. There was no thought of SeokJin but only the thought of losing the man that he came to trust and need in his life.

"Then, again, maybe I got it all wrong?"

~*~

"I could love him. Maybe I already do but I haven't quite figured it out. There so much Jungkook does to me but I don't want to confuse my feelings for something that it's not. It be wrong to say love and for him to not feel the same way. For me to be wrong."

"I don't want you to say anything that might confuse Jungkook. I think, he knows what he wants. If it's me or you then let him decide. And lets accept his decision like the men that we are."

"I can do that, can you?"

"We'll see."

March 17, 2018