Nanny Needed

Twenty-five

25. Heart beats fast

"I'll come over tomorrow for a bit," NamJoon grins. At this moment they were acting slightly shy, happy, and wanting. Last night something happened which changed their relationship. They had been together like any two adults would have. Realizing that it wouldn't be the last time.

They didn't need to talk about it. Their morning actions were clear that both had a good time. More touchy feeling with one another. The kissing and the never ending smiles. But like everybody they had to come down that high. They had to continue with their everyday life.

Now, they both stood outside. The cold winter wind was there but lost in translation. It was as if it didn't exist in that moment. Both of them grinning, looking at each other. There were no words said. There was only flirty eyes. Bodies that longed for touch.

Their hearts beating against their chest slightly faster. At a happier beat. Jungkook laughed breaking the silence between them. He couldn't remember the last time he felt this happy about a relationship. How exciting it feels in this stage of the relationship.

Jungkook kissed him. A kiss that was affectionate. One of those kisses you can't get enough of. He had to step indoors to see what was in store for today. One he would have to get ready—shower and dress. But the teenager in him was still in this kiss.

"If you're finished, then you can step inside." SeokJin was demanding. It was obvious that he wasn't happy about the scene outside his home. He came out interrupting a moment neither wanted to break.

"Right," Jungkook mumbled. He looked at NamJoon again. One last sweet kiss and a sorry which was said with his eyes.

"See you soon." NamJoon smiled gently at him. Kissed him one last time.

SeokJin, still, by the door. Still looking at the couple. He couldn't wait for them to separate, to get some space between them. He knew he was interrupting them. The jealousy in him got the best of him. That green monster in him had him waiting for Jungkook's return and torturing him with unwanted thoughts. This was a man that he, himself, never knew before. It was a possessive side of him that never existed before.

He was never this man with his husband. SeokJin can remember feeling protective but not possessive. Sure, Jin would like to show of his husband to the best of his qualities and features. Make him feel special. Yet, he never was inclined to show people that he was his. He couldn't recall making a scene.

His husband was a social butterfly. He knew how comfortable he was with people. The only time he would assert that he was his husband was when men were too forward. When they made his husband uncomfortable. There was rarely ever an occasion in which he had to.

Possession wasn't something he saw as important. No one could own anybody. Everyone had free will. They both understood that. Knowing that they both got married. They understood that whatever part of them which inclined, and decided that it was easy to accept each other. Jin was his and he was Jin's. They would have to work out their lives together.

Early on his husband let him take reigns of their future. People saw him as a top business man but his husband saw the man with insecurities. The man who would seek moments of peace. His husband provided that. Kookie was playing the same role now. There was something missing in all of this.

"Where are the children?" Jungkook asked as soon as the door closed behind them. It would be easier for him to get back to work and ignore Jin's small disturbances in his life.

"They're with their grandmother." It was said too cool for Kookie to believe. It felt condescending.

"Since when? You never," he detained himself. It was easier to argue with him than to deal with the aftermath of his anger.

"Alright, I'll get the house cleaned then. Have a nice day Mister Kim."

It was hard for Jungkook to maintain his temper. He was usually a patient man. Lately, it felt like Jin was trying to talk to him and sometimes he would even try to pick a fight. Kookie caught on early, if not then it be a mess.

"Actually, we need to talk. You didn't come home the last two nights. I was worried. You should've called. Didn't even bother to say 'I'm not coming home'." He was voicing his concern but his demanding, authoritative business side came out. The side that got in Jungkook's nerves. The only tone Jungkook heard, as of recently. The one letting him know that Jin wasn't pleased.

"Stop, you're trying to argue with me. I'm not going to. And I shouldn't have to call because you're not my father, husband, boyfriend, or family. Not even a friend. So, please, stop." Kookie wasn't going to let him talk to him like a child. Jungkook didn't do anything wrong.

"You live under my house." Jin knew what he was about to say was wrong but his anger lashed out.

He could remember his parents saying the same thing. No one liked to hear that. It felt like whatever you did wrong or right was wrong. He stopped before he could finish but it was clear he just set Jungkook off. Set off like Jin had as a teen.

"Your house your rules? Grow up SeokJin. I don't know what you're doing. It's ridiculous that we have to argue over something so simple and not related to work whatsoever. It's my private life. You're my boss. What happens with me outside of work doesn't pertain to you. It shouldn't even concern you. What happens here while I'm on the clock does. Now, I'm going to excuse myself because I don't want to be pissed off at you."

Jungkook could scream at him. Could argue with him until his voice hurt, his chest too. There were arguments that could never be won. Usually, because stubborn people don't listen. They rather have their pride than be wrong. SeokJin was appearing to be that man.

Sure, Jin had his good side. The side that knew how to converse, how to make you laugh, be a great father, among other things. It could outweigh his prideful moments but for some it was not enough. Kookie couldn't live with that. Jungkook was stubborn too. Jin could not ease Jungkook and he could not ease Jin. They butted heads.

"Talking about being on the clock. I don't want any visitors unless I'm informed." It was his hurt ego talking. He knew over and over again he was crossing a line.

Jungkook was too strong or maybe too uncaring. He could say that Jungkook was done with him. Done with his childish behavior. In the last few days he could recall Jungkook telling him to grow up various times.

"Alright, NamJoon will be here tomorrow. You've been informed." Jungkook walked away from there pissed at him. Pissed at himself for not leaving when he should have.

"Fuck," Jin hissed.

He could feel the beat of his heart. He was enraged. He couldn't bear this any longer. Something had to change. It was clear he was losing his wits.

He needed to talk to Jungkook without losing his temper. Without bringing up NamJoon. Without thinking of his husband. That's the only thing that he's done. Brought up their relationship which angered him.

There were feelings that needed to be sorted. Jungkook could be with him. He belonged with him. Jungkook eased his life, made it simpler. It felt like his husband was there all along. No worries about anything.

But Jungkook wasn't his husband. Jungkook would never be his husband. And even if he did become his husband he could never be the same. Then why was he so set on Jungkook? He need to think. And more importantly he needed a drink.

March 18, 2018