Nanny Needed

Thirty-one

31. Love you goodbye

"Jungkook?" SeokJin walked in Jungkook's almost empty room. It was midnight. It was his last night there. Jin's voice carried his uncertainty.

Two weeks had come and gone in the blink of an eye. He tried to be home every moment of it. And every moment was worth seeing the laughs, smiles that came from Jungkook and his children. Jungkook was right, he was missing a lot by being at work. And he had thought he was trying to spend time with them but it wasn't enough. Time can't be bought and it's not given. He's learned that these last two weeks.

"Yes?" Jungkook looked in his direction. It seemed like he, too, couldn't sleep. Fully aware of his own surroundings.

SeokJin was standing outside his doorway. Unsure if he wanted or could step inside. This time he had nothing to lose by stepping inside these four walls but he wanted to be invited in. He had to feel like Jungkook wanted him there. To feel welcomed.

This time he wouldn't push. It might be midnight but his mind aware of the current situation. He's aware of what he's trying to do. It's his last chance to get his point across. One last night.

"Would you call me crazy if I trespass again? I can't sleep and I know it's because I didn't give this one last shot." Jin stepped in the doorway.

Jungkook didn't say anything. There was hesitancy on his part. SeokJin couldn't say he disagreed with Jungkook because he was unsure too. Finally, Jungkook gestured for him to sit on the edge of his bed. Jin smiled like a child entering his room. He closed the door behind him. Jungkook watched sitting up on the bed. It didn't surprise him like it should've.

Jungkook laid back down. His heart pounding against his chest. This was what they were waiting for. He knew what was to come and he wouldn't play stupid.

A few words exchanged before the love you goodbye. Or maybe they'd stay silent and agree to lay with each other. Have intimacy which they've craved since Jungkook walked into that office over a year ago.

It was wrong to want it to happen but then Jungkook was sure that he wouldn't regret it tomorrow morning. His mind would be clear and free of this notion. The answers there. This would be a night when they could love each other without regret. Could it be called love?

Silence dominated as they took each other in. Trying to read each other as they had plenty of times before. It was sometimes so hard to do but tonight they could read each other perfectly. They knew what each one was thinking. No words said. Their bodies radiating warm heat.

"I'm afraid," Jin whispered as he was leaning over him. The silence broken. He ran his fingers through Jungkook's hair concentrating on the ends. His finger tips intertwining with the strands of hair.

"I know you'll be gone before I wake. Even if you're making them breakfast for the last time, I'll know you've chosen to leave. But I'm afraid to regret not doing this here. Not having this moment. I'm horrible to come between two people but I had to give it a try. Both ways I lose, don't I?" Jin couldn't even smile at the thought of ending it all here tonight.

"We both have so much to lose. It's heartbreak for one of us or maybe both of us. Realization of a whole different world. This moment will open our eyes to see what our heart wants. The heart wants what it wants. We'll figure out what we couldn't or didn't dare say." Jungkook traced his face. He was being bold.

Both of them looking, staring at each other. They tried to convey something that couldn't be said. They both understood, it didn't need to be said. It was clear that they both had unsteady breaths with quickened heart beats to match.

"Kiss me," Jungkook begged.

He didn't dare to think of NamJoon. Jungkook was going to do this tonight and tomorrow lose someone more. No matter what NamJoon said beforehand about having his goodbyes without regret—at peace with himself. They both knew it would come to this. They talked about it but it didn't make Jungkook feel any better. Jungkook would let his guilt take over tomorrow. Not tonight.

Jin hastily kissed Jungkook. He clung to Jin by wrapping his arms around his neck. Jin leaned down and carried him towards him by the waist. None of them pulling apart. It was passionately sloppy. They were giving in to what their bodies wanted after all this time.

There was nothing pretty about lust. It was messy, needy but wonderful, hot, and passionate. You could see how they clung to each other. How they didn't want to let go. They grasped for sweet air but their life seemed to depend on their kisses.

Clothes came off in the rush of it all. Almost torn apart in frustration. Their hands fumbling in nerves and desire. It was like the first time when you're not quite sure what to do. Your mind rushes you through a series of things you should be doing. You're too taken to make sense of it all.

Jungkook let Jin lay him down. Let SeokJin take control of the pleasure he'd induce. He pressed himself into Jungkook. Jungkook whimpered in pleasure. Trying to keep his eyes open to take in the sight of Jin on him. He could only catch glimpses of SeokJin's determined face. His jaw clenched in pleasure. His face structure somehow more defined. Fine lines appeared in his forehead holding in his grunts and moans.

Jungkook held on to him. Jin held him as tightly as he could. Every thrust was conveying want and need. Each one building up to the sweet orgasm that sex brings. Their bodies getting to know each other, to feel one another. It was the intimacy of two people feeling like teenagers.

Words slipped their mouths with each nearing their high. And when it came they both didn't say a thing. Both too tired to say anything. They let their bodies do the talking for them. Their bodies shivering, quivering in the pleasantries of an orgasm.

SeokJin fell asleep with his arm around him. Jungkook slipped out of the bed going to his bathroom. He looked in the mirror. He had his answers and Jin had his. Nothing he wasn't expecting already.

Now it was time to wash away the residue of that passion. Jungkook didn't regret it and he's sure Jin wouldn't either. It was just hard realizing you were right all along. He had to wait until the morning sun to come up for him to face the man he loved.

How could Jungkook face him? The man was right all along. What would Jungkook say? He wasn't sure but seeing his face would be enough for him to find the words. After all he won his heart.

March 19, 2018

One more chapter. Do you want a second part or leave it as is?