Zoo // Louis Tomlinson

//34//

Louis’ POV

 

            “Lou, Lou, Lou,” Daisy shoved my side, her little fingers curling around my t-shirt as Phoebe lay across my stomach. Both of their baby blue eyes were fluttering shut and ceasing to open more than a fraction of centimeter at a time, their reindeer pajama sets matching in everything but color as they drifted between sleep and endless questions that were as persistent as they were cute.

            “What love?” I grinned, running my fingers through her lengthening blonde hair. She was so little, they both were, growing up without me around but on the telly instead. I loved them so much though, sometimes I found it hard to believe they knew that, but when I walked in the front door and was instantly attacked by all four of my beautiful sisters, I pushed all the doubts to the back of my mind.

            I tried to keep them as sheltered from the things that were said about me as possible, but with Lottie being fifteen and Fizzy only two years behind, it was impossible to keep it all hidden.

            Daisy and Phoebe were a different story though, I wasn’t as worried with the older two hearing things because I’d been with them through most of their home lives. The twins however, they had lost me to my current life before they were even old enough to attend primary school. That’s what got me, I was supposed to be the stand in dad. I was the big brother, the one who threatened every guy who looked at them wrong and wasn’t afraid to stand up for them. I was supposed to tuck them into bed at night and make sure my mum was ok dealing with four younger children and a failed marriage.

            I wasn’t supposed to be my dad, and yet here I was, on my birthday feeling as though I’d walked out on every important person in my life. Just like he had.

            “Sing us another song.” Phoebe whispered, her small body nearly cloaking my own, her arms wrapped around me as far as they could go. Keeping me in a hug as her breaths became deeper and deeper.

            “Go to sleep,” I couldn’t help but smile softly at the both of them. I’d been gone for nearly half a year, calling and skyping them whenever the time permitted, but they’d still grown so much. They spoke like their sisters now –which wasn’t always a good thing- and both Daisy and Phoebe had insisted on Lottie doing their makeup on more than one occasion according to my mum.

            “Lou?” Daisy mumbled again, scooting closer so she could hide her face into the side of my shirt and I instinctively felt myself pull her closer. My hand dropping from her hair to her small back and attempting to protect her from everything that had ever aimed to hurt either of them.

            “Yes Daiz?” I chuckled, still rubbing circles onto Phoebe’s back as her eyelids continued to struggle between staying awake and sleeping her long and exciting day off.

            “Happy birthday, I love you.” She mumbled, little lips making a soft indent on my shirt and I couldn’t even begin to try to stop the feeling of complete and unrequited love I felt towards the two girls who had so much left to learn, but still saw the beauty in everything.

            “I love you too, even though you’re old.” Phoebe’s words came out a bit slurred and she crinkled her nose a bit, snuggling farther into my chest as the dim lighting in their room illuminated just far enough for me to see my mum standing outside the door, Lottie and Fizzy right behind her as I just winked and motioned for them to give me a few more minutes before I joined them downstairs.

            “I love you too, both of you. Sleep tight.” I whispered the words, patiently waiting for their little heads to be consumed by sleep before I moved them.