"You been quiet all night. What's wrong?"Amaru placed his hand in the palm of hers. "You're letting them get to you, aren't you?"
"No I'm just — I'm just thinking about what they said."Damita breathed and held onto Amaru's hand.
For the first time in a long time, they had visited her parents. Like always, they had something negative to say.
"You know I'm not trying to hold you back, I want you to be great."Amaru unbuckled his seat belt.
Damita sighed and grabbed Amari out of her car seat. She had been fussy all day, so Damita hoped she'd stay asleep.
She laid her down in her crib and followed Amaru to their bedroom.
"I didn't mean it that way."Damita snaked her arms around him and rested her head on his back.
"I know you didn't."Amaru walked away from her. "I feel guilty."He rubbed his face.
"About what? How does what they said make you feel guilty."Damita raised an eyebrow.
Amaru took a deep sigh. "Because I knew what I was doing. I did it on purpose. I tried to trap you, now I feel guilty because I did hold you back. You were just starting in your career and I selfishly got you pregnant on purpose. I thought having my baby would keep you with me, forever. When in reality, our love is what's kept us together all this time. Sometimes I think we moved too fast, I didn't let you live. I didn't let you have all the fun you're supposed to."
Damita sat on the edge of their bed and gave him a once over. "I'm responsible for my own actions. You asked me to marry you and I said yes. You asked me to move in with you and I said yes. Stop talking like you forced me, I'm not a child. I've made my own decisions to stay with you and be with you. If I was worried about the things I didn't get to do, I would have left you."She moved stray hairs from her face.
She started to say something else until Amari started crying,loudly. Damita jumped off of the bed and ran to get her.
She picked her up out of her bed and held her in close to her chest. "What's wrong with my baby? Hmm?"Damita carried her into their bedroom and laid her down.
She opened up her diaper to see if she had messed it up. "You're not wet, so why are you screaming?"Damita resealed her diaper and picked her up again.
"Maybe she's hungry."Amaru shrugged.
"You right. It has been like four hours since I fed her."Damita lifted up her shirt and allowed Amari to latch on.
She started to feed for a hot minute before she started screaming again. "Maybe she needs to take a bath."Damita sighed and stood up.
She took her into their bathroom and filled up her baby bath. Amari was only three months old, so she couldn't sit in the tub.
Damita started to bathe her and she just laughed and smiled. She liked to get clean.
After bathing her for another 10 minutes, she took her out and got her all dressed up.
"You're nice and clean now, so I don't want to hear anymore fussing."Damita raised up her shirt and blew raspberries on her stomach. "Do you hear me Amari Jo?"
Amari started to laugh and kick her legs until Amaru walked into the room. She started crying and fussing all over again.
"Oh my god."Damita pinched her nose. "I wish you'd stop. I've done everything I can. Please stop crying."Damita started rocking her back and forth.
"Hold her while I go get her pacifier. Her ass is going back to sleep."Damita rolled her eyes and put Amari in her father's arms.
She went downstairs to grab her pacifier. When she came back, Amari was calm and laying on father's chest.
Damita put the pacifier in her mouth and she turned the opposite direction.
"Are you serious? Little girl I take care of you?"Damita sucked her teeth.
"Looks like someone wanted to be under daddy. It's okay, you can be under daddy too."Amaru chuckled and pulled her close to him.
She snuggled up to him and put her arm around him since Amari had taken up all the space on his chest.
"What were you about to say before Amari started crying?"Amaru rubbed on Amari's back.
"It doesn't even matter at this point. What's done is done. We have a beautiful daughter and I love her, but next time would you mind consulting with me before you just start putting babies in me without my permission."Damita closed her eyes.
"If you want to be technical, you kind of asked me to do it. You told me not to stop and I didn't, so it's on you."Amaru laughed.
"But I didn't tell you to — you know what? Shut up."Damita pushed his head and turned over to goto sleep.
Something little, just because I haven't updated in awhile.
