Gravity Falls REBORN

One Does Not Simply Get Answers

"Spread the word, pig!" Wendy hollers, slapping Waddles and making him oink and run off with a sign on him saying, 'SWINES FOR PINES'. I work meaninglessly on a campaign poster I'm not really trying with. A few scribbles here and a couple words there should be enough.

Dipper's voice passes our small talk, "Alright everyone, eyes up here!" We follow his command and look up to him as he unrolls a dusty old scroll. "Okay, Gravity Falls elections are based on two events: The Wednesday Stump Speech, held on an actual... stump, and the Friday Debate wherein townsfolk throw birdseed at the candidate they like most. At the end, they release a freedom eagle who will fly to the candidate covered in more seed and bestow a birdly kiss upon him anointing him mayor." Dipper finishes and starts rolling up the paper, with a stern face he says, "I couldn't make this up if I wanted to..."

"Haha, but someone did!" I laugh.

"Who?" Wendy asks.

"Uh," I think of an excuse.. "Alex...Hirsch did?" 'Eh, do I really need an excuse? Nahh'

Dipper looks at me with wide eyes. I can tell by the way he's looking at me that they're saying, 'What do you think you're doing?!'

"Huh, who's that?" Wendy smiles curiously.

"He's one of the higher-ups in Gravity Falls!" I spiritually high-five myself in victory. Looking at Dipper smugly, I chuckle when he sighs a big sigh of relief.

Suddenly, the phone rings, so Mabel gets up and answers, turning to Stan in the progress. "Okay Grunkle Stan, are you ready for your first radio interview?" she asks, cupping the phone with one hand.

Stan fixes his collar smugly, saying, "I got my mouth, don't I?" He steps over and when Mabel says he's on, he takes the phone and takes a deep breath.

Dipper hurriedly turns on the radio so we can listen in to Stan's call. "Hello! Candidate Stan first question: How do you feel about the American flag?"  Toby Determined asks his first question.

"Say it's very freedom-y!" I whisper across the room to our uncle who most likely heard nothing.

"Mace!" Dipper smacks my shoulder, "That's not even a word."

"I know, haha, just trying to help since we all know how this goes." I roll my eyes along with my head while smiling.

"No, actually, we don't all know how this is gonna turn out..." He smirks and crosses his arms egotistically.

I grumble and look away, mumbling, "Shut up, Dip-Dop..." He laughs in return, presumably hearing me.

By the time my brother and I zone back into the call on the radio, Toby is asking his final question, "What would you do about the crime in Gravity Falls?"

Stan answers as I direct my view to Dipper, wanting to see when his face turns from neutral to shocked to terrified in a matter of seconds. "Wait, do you mean crime in general, or just the specific crimes committed by m-" 

'Haha! Priceless!'  I smack my knee comically when I watch my brother's face turn from a slight smile as he silently cheers our Grunkle on, to slowly forming into a frown, to downright mouth opening agape. 

I continue laughing as he literally cuts the call short, a pair of scissor in hand as he glares at Stan. "Okay, interview's over. Candy, what's the damage?" Candy steps up at her name, holding a closed laptop. 

"Your approval ratings started at zero. Now it's a number lower than zero," she explains in her cutesy voice, flipping open the lid to the computer and showing us Stan's negative approval ratings.