Lovin' You Again

Realization

There we stood, in front of the crowd drenched in rain. A single light bulb sat in front of us, lights out. The crowd was cheering as they had an idea of what song was to come next.

"Thank you guys so much, you guys have just been absolutely unbelievable tonight. From being an amazing crowd, staying in the rain, we appreciate you guys more than we can explain," His voice began. I knew what was coming of this speech, and why. I stood there, listening to his deep voice, as stone cold as I could. 
"So, for this next song we'd like to do it without all these microphones but if we do that we have to be very very quiet," The crowd agreed instantly, silently cheering and getting quiet to let the man and the rest of us sing. 

"So," He began, "I just wanted to say that these past 6 years have been some of the most unbelievable years of my life, everything we've done, I cannot be more proud of us, Thank you guys, all of you, for everything," He said, pointing to us, gesturing to me first. I look up and his eyes...they're dark, sad, watered. He takes a minute to stop, almost as if he continues, he'd break down. I knew he was crying, I patted him on the back as he continued, but nothing more. The pause lasts for a few moments and I sit there, waiting for his words. 

Avi...you're leaving us.

"And I love each and every one of you, more than I can explain, thank you for everything, this is for you guys. This is light in the hallway, and I hope you love it and I hope you feel it, it's for you,"  He pauses yet again, putting down his microphone as the rest of us get ready. My eyes linger to the crying man next to me, not thinking much of it. Not once have I dared to look into his captivating eyes once this evening, for I fear if I did I would finally crack. We tune quickly, getting the right note to start on. He whispers "I love you" to each one of us one final time before we begin. 

The crowd is silent as night when the song begins, us moving delicately over every note and run there is. He stands in the middle of us all, eyes closed, heart pounding. 

"Close your eyes lay your head down, now it's time to sleep, may you find great adventures as you lie and dream' 

'If you're scared of the darkness, I will calm your fears. There's a light in the hallway, so you know I'm here' 

His voice comes in and out of being in tune, I glance up at him and notice his cheeks are damp and we all know why, but we carry on. 

'You won't need me forever, but I'll still be here for we all have our nightmares, even me my dear'

'From now on if you need me, you can sing this song. There's a light in the hallway, burning all night long' 

My eyes close, not ever once have those set of lyrics captivated me before but it's something about them this time that's making it difficult to proceed. The crowd still never moves, never speaks. They give us their full attention without hesitation. We finish the song, Avi's voice breaking towards the end of it. I look across from me and Scott wipes a tear. All around me there are tears and I'm just...there. 
Cold. 
So, so cold. The crowd cheers when we finish and Avi thanks them for their being quiet. A single stage light hovers over the bass and I know my place. I take a step back, joining the other four on the other side of the stage. The crowd screams and cheers, most if not all with tears in their eyes. He raises a 'Rock and Roll' hand signal, which I'm sure only triggers more crying. The amount of times he's said those 3 words are too many to count. 

Now we'll never hear them again. 

Scott goes on to introduce the last song, Sing. 

"Before we do this last song, I just wanna say the past 6 years have been amazing, this is Avi's last show tonight. We love you so much," He turns to Avi and I glance over at him, he's still crying. "This has been quite the adventure, and I'm not gonna say too much cause Ima lose it but this is Sing. And usually we have a slide show in the back but tonight, the slide show is gonna be all about Avi." The crowd screams once again, and I only keep my eyes on Scott. 

Avi begins the song, with his low note and we begin to clap, "Sing!"   

"It doesn't matter if your days are long, Sing! it doesn't matter if your day's gone wrong, Sing!" 

I feel light come on behind me, the slideshow. I pretend as if it's just another show, and "Sing it out as hard as I can" 

Every so often I look back at the slideshow, seeing the same bearded face progress throughout the pictures and videos. Remembering every moment, except one emotion is different watching them back. Anger turned into sorrow. As Kevin goes into the bridge, he makes his way over to the bass, hugging him and taking his place back on the far side of the stage. Before we end the song, I look back one final time and see Avi's face in the 'Mary did you know' video. Scott walks over to Avi, followed by each and every one of us. 

We clap for him, and Avi turns around, welcoming us in a group hug. For an unknown reason I go in for a single hug, wrapping my arms around his torso, feeling his arm tightly caress my back. When I pull away, he looks at me sadly. I have no emotion over my face, in the slightest. Mitch comes up behind me and we go into a group hug.

"I love you guys, so much," He says, weeping. 

"We love you," Scott replies, "Go out and be your own man but remember you're always our bass man,"  The rest of them bawl in the small circle, as I stand there, emotionless. We pull away and suddenly my head hurts. I see white. I try to walk off stage, but am only feeling like I am collapsing before I can hear Avi speak his final words to the fans. I see white again. 

~
"Stop! Stop seriously!" He says, laughing. A brunette man and a girl continue to poke a man's cheek and run their fingers around his beard and mustache. 

~
"AHH!" A girl screams as the same bearded man walks into the room. She has a horse head on top of her. She chases after him, and falls on top of him. They both laugh happily.

~
The girl squeals as the man playfully pushes her into the nearby wall but they continue walking. He repeats his movement, only to earn a push back from the girl. He giggles happily and then taps her side with his finger. She giggles and slaps him on the back. 

~ 
"Sorry I get really emotional during that song," The girl says. The man smiles, takes off his guitar and guides her into his arms for a loving hug. They stay there for a minute, relishing in each other's touch.

~
"I want veggies," She says, before reaching up to caress his jaw but misses. She giggles, "Oh I missed! I meant to grab the chin," She says, grabbing his chin to correct herself.

~
So many things, moments flash by flash. And she just relived every single one of them.

I quickly rise in my bed, only my bed. I am sweating, crying, or both. I remember what I had just experienced. 

"I can't lose him again." 

__________________________________________________________________________________

So basically, Kirstie remembers the last performance with Avi in a dream, remembering the last moments of it. Then the dream flashes to a few Kavi moments you all should remember. ;)

Idk why but I watched the video of Avi's last performance again, light in the hallway speech and everything and BAWLED. ESPECIALLY when the slide show of Avi came on during Sing. I miss him so much! So after Kirstie's little mistake in the last two chapters, she realized WHAT a mistake it was. :)
Love you all! See you soon! XOXO 

BTW Here's the videos if you havent seen them :) They include the speeches and stuff. ;-;