Cafe - Hwitae

[39]

     Hwiyoung slipped his textbook back into his bag. He wished he had more work to do. Why didn't the teacher's assign more homework? Chanho turned to face him from his spot next to him. He rested his hand on his knee.

     "So the headaches." The older started.

     "You waste no time, I see."

     "We've wasted enough time. The headaches, are they as bad as they were before?" Chanho asked. Hwiyoung looked down at the messy blanket on his bed.

     "Most are, some are worse. The thoughts, they're consistently terrible." He said crossing his arms. He tried to get comfortable, but he knew there was nothing that would help. 

     "And the thoughts." Chanho said. He grabbed one of Hwiyoung's hands. The boy's eyes were glossy again.

     "They're... bad. I start thinking and then I can't stop. It wasn't bad until he forgot. I guess it just... messed me up." He could feel the tears beginning to slip down his cheeks. He sniffed and blinked a few times.

     "What was it?"

     "I'm not good enough, everyone is so much better than me. You hear it so much, you start to believe it, especially when you hear it from yourself." He was shaking. Tears continuing to fall. Chanho leaned towards him and wiped his tears away.

     "I hate to see you cry. You're amazing, wonderful, hilarious, beautiful. I'm sorry. I wish you could see how amazing you are. We're blessed to be in the presence of someone like you." Hwiyoung hit him on the shoulder.

     "Oh, shut up." He said, laughing slightly.

     "You know, we all missed you when you left. You had quite the impact on us."

     "Only because we were all together for so long. Suddenly someone is gone, people are bound to notice." Hwiyoung said. Chanho ran his free hand through his hair.

     "Hey, like I said, I wish you could see how amazing you are. It was just... different when you left. Different for everyone." He looked down at his lap.

     "Even you?" Hwiyoung asked. He glanced over at their intertwined hands.

     "Especially me. We were best friends for how long? We did everything together. You meant the world to me and then you were gone." Chanho said before looking up at the younger. His cheeks were red and still a little bit damp. "I need to tell you something."

     Hwiyoung looked up and saw the look in the older's eyes. He shivered slightly but nodded a little.

     "Please just hear me out. I don't know if I can say I love you, at least anymore. I was serious when I said you meant the world to me. We had been close for so long. If I don't love you now, I really did love you then." Chanho bit his lip after finishing. His heart was racing. Hwiyoung was silent for a minute but started when he found what he wanted to say.

     "I'm sorry. I don't know what I can say. Of course you meant so much to me. There was hardly a time we were apart. I'm not sure if I loved you, but I did feel something." Hwiyoung finally said, giving the other's hand a squeeze.

     "But with Taeyang it's different. It's love, isn't it?"

     "I... I... I don't know." Hwiyoung shivered again. Chanho pulled his hand away and took in a deep breath.

     "Can I kiss you? No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked. I'm s-" Chanho's words were cut off by a pair of soft lips against his. After just a second they heard the door creak open. They both sat back and turned to see Taeyang looking down at the floor. Chanho stood up and awkwardly headed towards him. "I'll just uhh... be downstairs."

     Once he was out the door, Hwiyoung felt the tears slip out of his eyes again. Taeyang stood there for a few more seconds. 

     "I'm sorry. I should have knocked. God, I shouldn't even be here. I'm sorry. I'll go now." He turned to leave but stopped at the sound of the younger's voice.

     "Please don't go." He said quickly, hearing how broken his own voice was. "I'm sorry. I should have- I'm sorry." 

     Taeyang faced the boy who now had his head in his hands. His body was shaking through sobs. Hesitantly, he walked towards him.

     "I'm gonna sit down." As soon as he made contact with the bed, Hwiyoung wrapped his arms around him. His head went to the older's shoulder. After a few minutes, his sobs subsided into sniffles.

     "I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry." Hwiyoung said pulling away.

     "For what?" 

     "Well for starters, getting your shirt all wet. But really for being a big dick. I overreacted. I'm sorry."

     "You don't need to be sorry. I was the dumbass who forgot. I understand if you can't forgive me because you didn't deserve that." Taeyang said. 

     "No no no, I forgive you. It's really not a big deal."

     "But it's a big deal to me. And it was to you." He watched Hwiyoung mess with the hem of his shirt. "If it's not overstepping my boundaries, may I ask who that was? I've seen him around a lot lately."

     "He's my friend. Best friend. We were extremely close back home. That, what you saw, that was nothing. At least I think it was nothing." Hwiyoung said trying to relieve some of the still-present awkward tension.

     "It's not my place to assume anything." Taeyang said, putting his hands up. He continued to look at the younger. There was something he wanted to say and he wanted to make sure that he understood him. "Hwiyoungie."

     The boy looked up at him. 

     "Come back to us. We miss you." He found himself saying. It wasn't what he was going to say. He wanted to tell him how he felt, but when he saw the younger smile and nod, he let go of the thought. Baby steps would have to do it.

~~~~~~~~~~

word count: 994

hi i have cramps and a crush on a very pretty boy uwu

~~Peachy~~