Ash and Dusk

Chapter 19

I was frozen in my place.

Nikolai was right there, in front of me, after so much time. When I last saw him, we were both fighting for our lives in the darkness of the Fold, trying to win a battle that was destined to be lost.

Then, I thought I could make his curse go away with just the touch of my fingertips, with light cascading from my hands to warm his heart and make the blackness of his veins disappear. Now, I know that it is not that simple. Now, I need to beg for my friend's salvation.

I watched him standing in a pool of blood, crouched upon the guard's body. When he sensed my presence, his head snapped in my direction and his body started to move further from me and into the woods. The glint in his eyes was the proof that he wasn't entirely here, that he probably won't remember any of this when he will gain control again.

I watched with increasing sadness his features. The hair that was once blonde as a wheat field was now covered in dirt and dry blood, his mouth was dripping red and his eyes held a cautios expression that was pointed at me.

"Nikolai" I said taking a step towards him "don't go."

He looked at me this time with fear, as if he realised what he has done. While he was taking quick glances at the body behind me, I took another step in his direction. When he sensed that I was trying to get closer to him, he opened his wings, ready to fly away.
I stopped, defeated.

"Please, let me help you."

The gentleness of my voice didn't seem to help. Instead, he looked agrier than a few moments ago and, with a last glance full of sorrow and fury, he was gone.

***

The day the Darkling was back was like the day a hurricane was meant to strike. Everyone was pacing back and forth to prepare for his arrival, while I was staying in my rooms. When he left the palace two weeks ago, I took all my belongings (which weren't many, really) and moved to my own chambers. The ones I chose are impersonal, with walls painted in soft shades of blue and a balcony that has a view to the lake and the infinite forest which reaches the horizon line.
Despite having a personal study, I spent most of my days doing the paperwork on the small vanity I have in the bedroom.

Today wasn't one of those days.

As soon as the day began, I isolated myself in the dark study, not bothering to grab something to eat and sending the servants away if they asked me if I wanted my food to be brought where I was.
I kept telling myself that I wasn't exactly hiding, I was just doing my work.

When I heard sounds of horses hooves on the pavement outside, I didn't even flinch, being too focused on reading. As the sun descended into the mountains, my attention started to drift off to other thoughts.

What will happen to Nikolai?

The only person who can help him is the same person who brought him to the state in witch he is now. And the Darkling will never release Nikolai, being a threat to the throne he stole. Even if I beg, even if I promise him complete obedience, it will only bring him an imense satisfaction and not the result I hope for.

Sighting, I put my head on the wooden desk in front of me. The last minutes of light made the sunshine fall on the shelves of books from the study. Turning my head in that direction, a golden shining caught my eye. It was one of the book's spine, which had its writing in some material that reflected the light. Analyzing it more carefully, I realised it was the book I found before the palace was attacked.

I stood up from my chair, my golden kefta rustling behind me. When I opened the book, I was welcomed with the same sound of the thread streaching and the old pages' smell. I placed the book on a metal stand to keep it away from any damage I could cause and took an instrument to turn the pages as I read.

After I passed the first page with the signatures, I was left disappointed. The book was blank. Oskolki teney was nothing more than some pages degradated by time.

But that doesn't make any sense, I thought to myself. Why would Ilya, alongside with the rest of the Morozova line, sign on a book that doesn't have any kind of information?

Before I could give myself more time to think about it, I felt the Darkling's presence rather than heard it. In the short time I had, I made the book invisible with my power and took a random paper that needed to be completed, just as the door opened. I pretended to be occupied to avoid looking at him.

"Oh, you've returned" I said, barely glancing up at him and concentrating on writing again. I ignored the slight anger that radiated from him.

After a moment of silence he finally spoke. "I would have thought you heard about our arrival until now."

I shrugged and continued "I heard. I just didn't want to welcome any of you."

He seemed amused by my honest response. "I see you've been working lately", the Darkling said, eyeing my tower of papers.

"Yes" I nodded imperceptible. "The mountains of work you left me weren't going to get done by themselves." The book I was trying to hide flickered a little in and out of existence and I tensed, focusing once again.

He didn't seem to notice. Instead, he turned to leave, pausing in the doorway. "Be in the war room in an hour."

I nodded.

The Darkling glanced at me again, this time with a dangerous glint in his stormy eyes. "Enjoy your reading."

The door closed with a soft sound and I remained still in my chair, praying that he didn't see what exactly I was reading.

________________________

*shows up one year later with starbucks* I'm back!

The chapters will be posted randomly, so don't get your hopes up, because I live to disappoint.

*Oskolki teney = Shards of shadows (I'm sorry if it's incorrect, I don't speak russian. So if any of you knows how it should be, leave a comment or message me)

Until the next chapter,
Annie