Ash and Dusk

Chapter 23

It was strange.

The sensation of not feeling anything. I should have known that I was sleeping, that my heart was being constantly slowed down by a heartrender. But there was something off about all of it.

The absence of dreams.

No nightmares, no screams, no rapid breathing. I was floating in a never ending state of nothingness. My eyes were closed, but I could not feel them. It was as if miles were separating my mind from my body, like running through the Fold with the hope of finding the edge of it.

Sometimes I could hear voices. Or more like sense the resonance of the vocal chords. Low mutterings were the same as rivers, calming and constant, luring you to sleep. Then, there were more powerful sounds, rising and falling like the notes of a spirited song. Even if they came from afar the effect was still the same.

Whispers were the ones that really made a difference. I could not hear the words that were spoken or recognize the person behind them. But my mind was not focusing on that. Each letter flew by me on a warm breeze, soothing something inside of me that I didn't realize it needed this kind of music.

I would have happily stayed like that forever, on the wings of whispered words, drowning in the wind produced by this person. The only one that was talking to me.

It could have been peaceful, a life lived like that. Nothing to worry about or to cry for. An existence of rest.

If only the pain of something breaking would allow that.

***

When I opened my eyes all I could feel was nausea. My stomach seemed to fight itself as the world kept moving from left to right in a infinite cicle. The image in front of me was one of wood, planks connected together by metal nails to form what appeared to be the inferior part of a ship's deck. Judging from the smell of salt and fish and the swinging of everything, I knew I had to be right. Which meant that we were already sailing the waters of the True Sea. Which also meant that we passed the Fold succesfully without any of my help.

I stood up in a sitting position, untangling myself from the mess of sheets that covered my body. Bad idea. My head started to pulse painfully, blurring my vision with black margins and dots.

"I think you should lay down for a while, moya tsaritsa."

I turned my head slowly towards the door. A girl, maybe three years older than me, was watching me with a barely surpressed smirk. Her blonde, straight hair was kept entirely on a shoulder, the ends reaching her waist clad in the corporalki red. One look at her sleeves told me she was a heartrender.

And the way she said my title made my patience thin.

Ignoring her, I threw my legs over the edge of the campaign bed and moved them back and forth alternatively. I sensed her irritation growing when I planted my feet on the ground, but I didn't spare her a second glance until I gripped the metal frame for support. I blinked at her expectedly from behind my loose strands of white hair.

"There are still a few hours left before we reach the destination and I suggest to rest, judging by the state you're in." She did a poor job at hiding her disgust from her face. At least, she tried to cover her observatory glance under her lashes, as she scanned my body up and down.

"Take me to the Darkling," I said with a voice I hardly recognized.

"Oh my, I thought I made myself clear."