Where is Your Heart? // Jason McCann

Chapter 7

Jason

I woke up to the most annoying beeping noise. I opened my eyes and looked for the source, it was an alarm clock on my nightstand. When the fuck did that get there?

I picked up the alarm clock and threw it across the room, it hit the wall and fell to the ground in pieces. Then I laid back down and made an attempt to fall back asleep.

I heard my door open and footsteps walk in. "What the hell was that?" I heard Alex ask.

"Me throwing the alarm clock." I mumbled, my eyes still closed.

"Why the fuck did you do that?" He asked, seeming pissed. But I didn't care.

"It woke me up." I told him, putting my pillow on my head to try and block him out.

"Get up!" he yelled, shoving me off my bed. "You're going to be late!"

"Asshole." I mumbled, standing up. "I'm not going to school today."

"Yes you are." Alex said. "You aren't skipping."

I rolled my eyes and mumbled a 'whatever', but I'm still not going to school. I was in no mood for that shit.

Once Alex left my room I threw on a random dark blue t-shirt and a pair of black pants. I put my black Supras on and threw a SnapBack on over my messy hair, too lazy to fix it. I brushed my teeth and grabbed my key and backpack, heading downstairs.

Alex was the only other person up, everyone else was asleep, well, Seth was probably already at school. Alex was watching tv in the living room.

"Bye." I mumbled as I walked towards the door.

"Don't you dare skip." He warned me. "The school will call me if you're not there."

"Mmhmm." I hummed as I walked out the door.

I got in my black Range Rover, slipping on my Ray Bands, and threw my backpack into the back seat. Won't be needing that today.

~~

I drove around for a bit, then I decided to stop at the park. I parked in the parking lot and got out, getting stares from everyone, probably looking at all my tattoos, but I'm used to it.

I walked around for a couple minutes, then I took out my box of cigarettes and my lighter, pulling a cigarette out. I lit it, put the box and lighter away, and put the cigarette to my lips. I inhaled the smoke as I walked around, trailing away from the kids.

Hey, I may have a bad-ass image, but I'm not cruel enough to ruin kids lungs from second-hand smoking.

I lit the damn cigarette to help clear my head, but it seemed to only make things worse. The only thing on my mind was Autumn, and she wouldn't get off it.

I don't know what came over me yesterday, maybe it was those damn leggings and that ass of her's. I have no idea, but I feel like such an idiot for what I did yesterday. I should've just went to the bathroom, I should've never stopped to talk to her or do anything that I did. But I kind of liked it, I'm so confused!

I've never wanted someone as much as I want her, but I've also never been so annoyed with someone as much as I've been with her. She gives me these weird feelings whenever we touch, I have no idea what the hell it is. And when I'm with her my hands get all clammy and I feel... nervous. I never get nervous.

Wow, I sound so gay.

But yesterday at my house; I didn't want to fuck her like I usually do with girls. I wanted to just kiss her and hold her in my arms. I didn't want to use her like what I've done to other girls, or like how I wanted to at the party, but that might've been because I was a little tipsy. I have no clue what's going on with me, this has never happened before. All I know is I absolutely hate it. It's annoying and it's pissing me off.