Where is Your Heart? // Jason McCann

Chapter 17

Jason

I don't know what happened, we were making out, then she freaked out and ran into her room. She's been locked in there for two hours now. Did I do something wrong?

Knocking on her door for what seemed like ten-billionth time, I waited for her to say something, but she didn't say anything. "Autumn, please let me in." I begged. "Let's talk about this."

"Just go away Jason." Her soft voice finally spoke.

That's all she's been saying for the past two hours, and I've had enough of it. "Damnit Autumn, let me in."

"No."

"Did I do something wrong?!" I finally asked, she didn't respond. "Autumn, please tell me what happened. Why did you freak out and run away?"

I heard a click and then the door swung open to reveal Autumn. Her eyes were red, she had obviously been crying. "It wasn't you, it was-" she sighed. "It's just what happened, it kind of brought back some bad memories."

"Nice to know that when we kiss you think of bad things." I mumbled to myself, but she heard.

"It wasn't us kissing, it was the situation. Just- just, please leave me be." She quietly uttered and closed the door.

I sighed and went back in my room, still puzzled about the whole situation. What happened in her past that would freak her out so much when we kissed? I was determined to find out.

Autumn

It was a little after midnight and I was still locked up in the guest bedroom. I refused to come out, I wasn't ready to face Jason yet.

It looked dark outside of the room, from what I could see through the little gap under the door. And it was silent in the house. I assumed everyone had finally gone to bed, so I escaped my little hideaway and went downstairs to grab something to eat, since I never came down for dinner.

I padded through the dark hallway towards the kitchen as quietly as I could, trying not to bump into anything along the way.

When I successfully made it to the kitchen I slowly opened up one of the cabinets, wincing as it screeched a little. I squinted, trying to see what was in the dark cabinet.

I gasped as the light suddenly flickered on. Looking towards the entry way of the kitchen, I saw Jason standing there with a smirk plastered on his face and his arms crossed. "It's 'bout time you out of the room."

"I-I-"

"You're fine." He interrupted me. "Go ahead, get something to eat. You didn't eat dinner so I'm sure you're starving."

I nodded shyly and quickly scanned the cabinet, feeling uncomfortable knowing Jason was watching me. I snatched a granola bar and closed the cabinet door. I looked down at the ground as I ate my bar, feeling insecure as Jason continued to stare at me.

I heard Jason sigh and then footsteps get closer to me. Suddenly my chin was lifted up as I was looking at Jason, who was now right in front of me. "Why do you look so scared?" I didn't answer. How was I suppose to tell him about him when I can barely think about him without breaking down. "Is it about what happened earlier?" Jason's voice snapped me out of my thoughts.

I nodded slightly. "I just-" I sighed and threw the rest of my granola bar away, suddenly not hungry anymore. I put my face in my hands in frustration, I wanted to tell him, but how would he react? I've never told anyone about it, not even Emily or Amy know.

Jason stood in front of me once again, placing his hands on my hips and resting his forehead against mine. "What happened?"

I bit my lip nervously, grabbing his hand and pulling him upstairs. When we got to his room I pulled him in, closing and locking the door behind me. Jason sat on his bed while I pased back and forth in front of him nervoulsy with my arms crossed over my chest. I was contemplating on where to even begin, well, obviously at the beginning, but that might take too long.

"A couple years ago," I started, my voice shaky as I replayed everything that happened with him. "I met this guy that went to our school, he was really sweet at first, and attractive too. I thought I was in love with him." I hesitantly looked at Jason, he had his jaw clenched, but he remained silent and somewhat calm. "We started dating, for the first few months he was the sweetest, kindest boyfriend any girl could ask for. After about 6 months he wanted to me to have sex with him, but I wasn't ready. He kept asking and asking, and I kept declining because I just wasn't ready." I a deep breath and held back my tears as I prepared myself for the worst part. "About 11 months into our relationship he asked me again, and again I said no. But he said he couldn't wait any longer and he-" Not being able to hold it back any longer, I choked out a sob.

I looked over at Jason again, his eyes went wide with realization and he stood up from the bed. "He-"

I nodded. "Yeah, he raped me." His jaw dropped slightly in shock and he immediatly pulled me into his embrace. "The reason I freaked out when you kissed me earlier is because when you were over me like that, it reminded me of that day and I just-"

"Ssh." He cooed as I cried into his chest. "I understand." He softly kissed the top of my head and rubbed my back. "What was his name?"

"Trevor." I told him. "Trevor Matthews."

He backed away a little to look at me. "Trevor Matthews?"

I nodded. "Yeah."

He jaw clenched and his eyes got dark. Then he stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

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Cliffhanger xD

#sorrynotsorry

Please don't kill me /.\

-Ashley