Poems and Rants Of A Killjoy

11:50 PM (Friday)

Sitting in the car with Logan was okay, he told me of his past. One that was full of problems... if he's looking for pity he's not going to get it from me. Is that bad to say? He gave me something to hold for him so he couldn't do anything. It was a pocket knife.

I stared at it, the streetlights from outside gleaming off the edge. Feeling the edge I quickly took my finger off. Not looking at him I'd ask, "You do realize what you've done right?"
After a pause of confusion I continued.
"Giving me this is like giving a rehabilitated addict their drug and saying, don't take it!"
After hearing my words he promptly took it back and hid it from the both of us. Out of sight out if mind, right?

I had told him I had a headache (I really did) and asked him to take me home. So he did.... yet he missed the turn and added on 10-15 extra minutes. As a bonus he made a playlist of love songs that he kept playing..... talk about uncomfortable. Oh! He even tried to make a move to give me a hug or something more (I wasn't sure), regardless I kept my distance. Now (at 11:43PM) I'm texting him although I want to go to sleep. He's telling me that I help the "demons" go away.

Am I being too harsh and rude to him?

What do you think I should do?

I've already talked to him about therapy and medication (both of which he swears that he's never going to touch).

How do you help someone that doesn't want to be saved (I don't even want to help him)?
You don't?

I know that sounds horrible-it is.... horrible of me to say, it's just that I know I'm not the one to give him the help he so desperately needs. I know I can't nor do I want to. I told him that I didn't love him. I only care enough to not be the reason he ends up dead. Maybe I care a little more than that. I'm not sure, all I know is that I don't need a "toxic" person in my life right now.
And that's what he is to me: toxic.