Today I realized that the guy I thought I loved last year, the one that cheated on me, the one I still see around school, was never in love with me nor I him.
It was never love. In fact it was infatuation. Yes, it grew from a crush, but it changed. It grew into infatuation...
I felt that he could "fix" me and I was only happy around him. I learned that he felt the same way I did about it. I remember thinking that I was addicted to him. Isn't that ironic? I was furious that Logan dare say he's addicted to me when I saw Aaron as that one less than a year earlier.
At the time both of us (Aaron and I) were dealing with Depression, self-harm, suicidal thoughts... We both needed someone to lean on and it just ended up working out that way. I've talked of this before. "Anyways it's interesting because I see how Logan can see me as this thing he needs, I can see how he believes that I can help his problems go away, but I don't feel the same way.
I really don't and I'm not apologizing for it because it's not my place to "fix" him. He needs professional help, that I can't give. I've told him that much. I've also told him that I don't love him. I tried to be polite about it, but he didn't get it. None of my whites to flat out saying I need solace seemed to click with him.
As for this whole situation it's almost over because Prom is this Saturday and after that I'm dropping it. I'm changing class periods and blocking him (after directing him towards help). Hopefully that he'll get. Hopefully he doesn't try anything...
This is _killjoy_4_life_ signing off...."
YOU ARE READING
Poems and Rants Of A Killjoy
PoesiaAll of my thoughts written down in here... This is a place for those who need a safe haven of sorts. Made by one of your own. I hope you can learn from my mistakes. "Come one, come all to this tragic affair..." -Dead! By My Chemical Romance [ON-GOIN...
