Silver Fox

Just a Piece of Chewed Gum

I'm back to normal now.
Yet everything has changed.
The story has flipped,
yet I still remain the same.

A piece of flavoured gum.
Heavily chewed.
Losing flavour faster and faster.
That piece of gum has no way out of disaster.
It gets thrown away so fast without a second thought.
Only to stuck forever to a piece of furniture and replaced the next day.

I have been thrown out of this world yet again. After a gum looses its spunk, you do not keep it close. You stick it under a table to fend for itself. Alone and disgusted from the outside world.

In the exact moment that I realized how much I was hurting, I also saw my sins and regrets painted all over my body like my careless self inflicted wounds. Takashie was gone. His family went to another family residence. I was alone again. It was the same all over, alone to fend for myself in a world of people who despised me.

Ever since the once bright and bubbly boy left, Wihu went quite. I haven't heard from him in months. All I could do is run around out side in the wilderness like I used to. Letting my body be scratched and scraped by the claws of the trees and wild thorny bushes.

All the romance books of fairytale love were wrong. There was no love interest with a perfect personality. There was no magic that could make him want me again. There was no happy ending. All I wanted was a happy ending. Where the hell was my happy ending?

I continued to scribble down worthless words in my endless diary full of entrees from 3 weeks. But whats the point in doing this anymore?

I let my hand finish writing the last word for today's entry. I let the pencil tumble to the ground not carrying were it landed anymore. I was just like that pencil. Thrown away so easily. Like an unnecessary tool used only for a bit then thrown out because it's not up to standard anymore. It was short and the led was dull. The pencil and I are one in the same except I could do something the pencil could not.

I stood up from my spot grabbing my precious book full of everything. My confessions. My regrets. My memories. My insecurities. My story. My letter.

I walked down a familiar a path leading to a house that I once lived in. The place look empty and abandoned, forgotten just like me. I walked up the curved driveway and entered the familiar family home. Empty memories of happiness lingered in the air, leading my thoughts to wonder what I could've done to change the outcome. Any hint that things could've gone differently.

Maybe I....maybe!......there was nothing. Complete emptiness. I walked out the back door, walking beside the train of black blood leading into the forest. I paid no attention to the eroding carcasses of my old pray. The only thing I pain attention to was the huge tree knocked over now with more blood on it.

"I knew you would come back here" I yelled out into the forest as I smelt the scent of a familiar wolf-boy.

"I didn't think that you would dare come this close to our boarders. Are you insane. Or do you just want to die."

I was taken a back by his words. 'Did I want to die?' 

"I'm just stopping by. Visiting an old memory."

Watinie snorted. "You don't understand. I am going to kill you."

"I understand. It's just not necessary."

"You really are insane fox girl. If you run fast enough maybe I'll only hurt you instead."

"True. True. I have reach the point of insanity." I said turning around and walking back down the wood path.

"Wait! Get back here. You don't understand. I will do it! I will kill you! And it won't be quick and pain-"

"Ok"

"What do you mean ok. And slow down. Why are you retreating and practically asking me to kill you?"

"I'm not asking. I'm just saying that you don't have to kill me."

"And why is that."

"You'll see soon."

The boy looked at me angrily and just continued to walk. We follow my blood all the way back to the house.

"This is a trap isn't it! And ambush!!!"

"No. Nothing like that."

He continued to follow me, annoyed and confused, in to the house and up the stairs. Up the balcony. And on the roof. Up in the place where I am the closest I'll ever be to heaven. The closest to the sky I'll ever be.

"Hey Watinie?"

"What."

"Give this book to the little boy. The one you wanted me to eat so long ago. Tell him not to let his parents see. Tell him to go find a the cat-girl."

"And why should I do that."

"Because you have honour."

"Maybe. But not for you."

"Not for me. But for anyone's dying wishes and last words."

Watinie stared at me blankly. He slowly nodded his head and looked at me. Closer then spoke again, "Your not even fighting back. This isn't even a fair fight to begin with. If you don't fight back then it's dishonourable on me."

"You don't have to kill me then. Just promise you will do what I told you too. Please."

"You really are insane, Ms. Fox. You don't have to die like this."

"In that book is my last testament and what I want the world to know once I'm gone."

"Please stop this. Going out like this is harder on all the people around you. All the people who love you or used to love you. At least fight back so I can kill you. Please."

"No. It's far to late for that. I have no fight left in me. Only two people in the world love me right now Anyways."

"Not true. We used to be friends. We used to get along ok. Maybe I made some mistakes along the way. And maybe I have horrible anger issues and maybe I have orders to kill you, but. Don't go like this. It hurts more."

"Goodbye Watinie. Goodbye old friend."

I said falling backwards letting my arms reach outwards. Accepting death to take my body and allowing the wind rip through my long silver locks.

Goodbye Otone. You were amazing to have around. I'm sorry that your sister did this to you. I'm sorry that I couldn't be around to protect you any longer.

Goodbye Saskie. You were a wonderful friend to meet even though are time was short. I'm sorry that I left you alone to fend for yourself.

Goodbye Watinie. I'm sorry that our friendship didn't work out, we were sworn enemies to begin with. Please don't do things that you are against, don't follow the pack just because you are part wolf.

And lastly. Goodbye Takashie. Although our ending wasn't happy thank you for the good times together. I'm sorry that you don't like me anymore and that I put you and your family through hell. I'm even more sorry for getting involved in your life. Take care of yourself and stay safe.

Falling falling falling,
Like a graceful feather in the air,
Falling until you meet the ground silently and peacefully,

The ringing of silence is all you can bring,
The endless sound of nothingness follows you,
You are one falling feather of many,
And once you land no one shall dismay.

Goodbye silent peace feather. May you be welcomed in the ever extended arms of the dead. May you be surrounded by the no longer peaceful forgotten feathers around you, who fell before you, who didn't get a second gust to blow them into heaven

A/N thank you so much for the milestone of more then 50 reads! I'm so glad that some people actually see my work! And also don't worry 😉 this is not the end! Also I'm sorry for the two random poems! I think they added a nice dark touch that wasn't too dark but was interesting as well! Just trying something new is all!

Don't for forget to Vote and Comment! Peace out! Laterz!