It's That 'I Hate You' Kind of Love

Chapter Thirty Three

**When you see ITIHYKOL that stand for It's That I Hate You Kind of Love*

I let out a sigh in the nearly empty room and curled my legs up to my chest, wrapping my arms tightly around them and setting my chin on my knees. The wooden chair set against Alex's closet doorway was hard and unforgiving against my back, but I endured it without complaint.

My gaze wandered over the the bed where my brother lay under the maroon covers. The rise and fall of his chest was steady, but the almost pained look on his face suggested that he was not as at peace as I hoped.

Carson had brought the pack doctor in just minutes ago, who had cleaned Ben's wounds on his face and covered them in gauze. The elderly man with a carefully trimmed gray beard and eye glasses as round as the eyes of an owl, declared that my brother would be okay; he was extremely stressed and overtired. The pack doctor diagnosed him a good sleep and forced two white sleeping pills down my brother's throat despite my avid protests.

'I know what I'm doing, Luna Charlotte.' The Pack doctor told me seconds before I told Carson to make him get the hell out.

What the Pack doctor didn't know is that it had been years since my brother had slept well. And it was because he was haunted by werewolves like him.

"I'm sorry Ben." I whispered hoarsely, looking over my knees at him sadly. "It's kind of my fault too you know.I could've figured out that Emily was your mate sooner. I could've tried to stop her. I could've gone to you and forced us on a plane right away. I didn't want this for you." I swallowed thickly once my eyes found the bandage pasted on his cheek and forced myself to look away. "I'm really sorry."

Tears were burning my eyes, but I blinked them back. Ben wouldn't want me to cry.

A knock sounded on the open door, and I didn't have to look up to see who it was.

"What do you want Carson?" I asked in a hollow voice. My brother flinched in his sleep. I wondered if Ben could hear us or if he was dreaming of something popping out at him. The second was highly unsettling and I wished I hadn't thought of it.

Carson was unsure in the doorway. He didn't enter; I was partially glad he didn't, and partially wishing he would cross the barrier. I wanted him to hold me, but then, I really didn't.

"I'm mad at you," I said softly. "I'm really, really mad at you."

He didn't need to say anything, and he didn't. I could see the shame and the regret across his face. Carson was practically drowning in it, but his determination to fix his mistake kept him afloat.

"I'm sorry." Carson whispered, his voice low and roughened by sincerity.

I stiffened, and after a moment, nodded reluctantly, still not looking at him. "I know...But this is different from all our other fights Carson; this involves my brother. You know how important my family is to me. He's my hero, and look at him now. He'll never be the same."

The words that fell from my tongue were truthful, but I almost felt regret at the pain in the werewolf's expression.

Silence fell over the room and a tear slipped down my cheek because little by little it was setting in. Ben had a werewolf mate. He was going to wake up and be trapped in his own personal hell. He had flipped when I told him; I couldn't even imagine what would occur when he realized what his life had become within mere hours.

Carson stared at me sadly for a long moment, and that one look made me want to cry harder, because I knew he was feeling my pain in some way. He closed his cobalt eyes and when they reopened, they were full of determination.