Good Taste (book 2)

13

song for chapter: malibu by miley cyrus
{ hoping that you'll stay the same, and nothing will change, and it will be us }

FRIDAY
[ ALLISON'S POV ]

I sat down onto the cold black metal bench in the middle of the grass field; Taylor sitting down next to me.

I let my arm rest on the back of the bench while I turned to face her, "so, what did you want to talk about?"

She let out a small breath of stress, "I just want to make sure you're okay. Like really okay." Her eyes squinted with nervousness filling inside of them.

My eyes traveled to the bench; truly thinking about it.

Honestly, it took me a minute.

"I don't know." My eyes looked back up to her, "but I do know that I'm happy right now."

She nodded lightly, "when you told us that you almost... you know... died." She hesitated not wanting to hurt my feelings. "I felt like my heart vanished into thin air. I felt so empty."

The corner of my lip curved upwards slightly as I adored her words.

"You mean so much to all of us. I need to make sure that you know that. No matter what problems you face, we will always face them with you because we love you." She wrapped her around around my body.

My hands held onto her back while my chin rested on her neck. "Thank you so much." I closed my eyes taking in the hug.

"I didn't think Ethan would be the one to help you." She admit. "I thought you lost every emotion you had for him."

I pulled away from the hug and put my arm back onto the bench. "I thought I did too, but when he pulled me down and he held me. I realized how much I need him. Every ounce of sadness I had was because I didn't have him."

"What do you mean?" She tilted her head wanting to understand deeper.

"I moved to Chicago because I didn't have him. I couldn't focus in school because I was focused on what he was doing since he wasn't with me. I felt happiness kissing him, even if it was just a hook up, I had him. I was depressed when I thought he wasn't the one who helped me with Cade. Everything leads back to him." My lips pursed together as I admit all of this.

She looked around before looking to me again, "I don't think it's healthy to put your happiness into someone else's hands, do you?"

"No, not at all." I shook my head, "but I can't help it. He has so much control over me no matter how hard I try to resist it. It's been like that since were kids."

"Look," her hand grabbed onto mine, "I just don't want you rushing back into things. Don't feel pressured to get things back to how they used to be."

I let her words sink in.

"Even though you may have Ethan back, things will never be the same. You almost died because of the sadness that this boy brought to you." She warned me.

"Trust me, I know things won't be the same. Apart of me can already feel it." I shrugged letting go of her hand.

Her eyebrows narrowed, "feel what?"

"I can feel the tension when all five of us are together. It's almost as if it's awkward." I rubbed my hands together.

"Everyone's been through a lot and we all know what we've done." She let out a breath of air.

I nodded understanding, "I just wish it didn't have to be this way."

"Try to start new, start fresh and do things with your pace." She suggested.