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again | bellamy blake

AGAIN
bellamy blake
[wc: 1219]
~°~

*based off the books

Her name was Lilly Marsh. She was everything he wanted in a person. Lilly was one of the only ones who cared about him, and he returned that favor. That's when he knew what love was, what it felt like.

After he lost Lilly, he was not sure he'd ever experience that again. There would never be anyone who cared about him like Lilly did. No one who wouldn't judge him, wouldn't assume the worst of him, and would still love him no matter what.

But that changed with them. Y/N Y/L/N. Bellamy screwed up plenty of times from the time that he met Y/N to the present. He had met them up in the Colony a few years before going down to Earth. Y/N had gotten arrested for stealing goods for Octavia.

Bellamy never knew why they were so giving and kind to him, considering that he was a jerk to them. He just couldn't imagine getting close to anyone either than his sister anymore.

"Bellamy! What did you do now?" The entrance of the tent opened up to an irritated Octavia marching in.

Of course he knew what she was talking about. It was just recently the last time he was a jerk to Y/N, and it was not forgivable. Y/N had a best friend, who was also their first love. They had helped Bellamy pass off as a guard to get to Octavia. However, when they got caught Bellamy had left them to be blamed and arrested.

The two years between now and then, Y/N had thought that Bellamy had tried to take the blame before they took all of it. To everyone else, her best friend was just some commoner passing as a guard to bail someone out.

The truth had come out. Y/N felt betrayed and stormed away from Bellamy. Everything was going so well between them, friendship wise of course. Then he had to find a way to ruin all of it.

"It had to be done." He said simply.

Octavia looked at her brother shaking her head. "Why? Because they didn't deserve to be happy for once in their life?"

"Because they do deserve to be happy." His hard brown eyes looked at his sister.

Her gaze softened walking closer to him. "Bell, what do you mean? Y/N was beginning to like you-"

"Exactly. That's exactly it. They can't like me." His hands were in his hair brushing through it in a stressful manner.

"They can't like you or you won't let them?" Octavia knew that Bellamy still loved Lilly after all these years, but she knew he had also moved on.

"Because I won't let myself. I can't give up on Lilly. It's not right." Bellamy's gaze dropped to the ground as he took a seat.

Octavia sat next to Bellamy, resting a comforting hand on her brother's shoulder. Her head laid on his other shoulder and his laid on top of hers. "Bell, I love you. Lilly loved you too. You loved Lilly. If you love Lilly, you have to let her go because I know that's what she would have done. She's always wanted you to he happy. And frankly, you're a mess right now."

The thoughtful silence lingered in the air a few seconds. "What if Y/N leaves too?" Bellamy could not keep his voice from cracking when he spoke.

"They won't. And if they do, that would be stupid of them to do. I mean, Y/N got lucky with you. What else could they want?" A smile broke out on the two siblings' faces.

A sudden light of sun lit inside the tent while Y/N stood at the entrance. Their face had anger and disappointment etched in it. Octavia excused herself before leaving, Bellamy cursed her out mentally but stayed calm.

His lips opened to say something before he was cut off. "No. You will let me speak first." Y/N said sternly, at that moment you could see the puffiness around the eyes.

"You hurt me Bellamy. You lied to me. I wouldn't be surprised if you were using me also." He quickly stood up to defend himself but they paid no attention. "I have done nothing but offer my loyalty to you. I have helped you take care of Octavia, take care of yourself, and supported you through everything. Yet, all you've done is lied to me, used my loyalty to your advantage, and push me down. But explain to me why whenever I wish to let you go, I think about you and I sneaking out at night. I think about you standing up to those girls for Octavia. The time you stuck up for me when someone called my mother names. And when I think about all of that, I fall right back into your spell. Bellamy, please explain to me how this is fair at all." Their eyes shined with water brimming the edge of their eyes.

More silence. It seemed to be the only answer Bellamy could offer recently. "I-I'm sorry. It's not fair. I know it isn't. But it isn't fair for me either. I loved Lilly, Y/N. She's gone, and I try to keep convincing myself that I shouldn't be allowed to love anyone else. But then you come back. Everytime I do something horrible you forgive me. You come back with that smile, and loyalty, and support. Y/N you're slowly killing me knowing that I shouldn't be able to have you. Yet, here you are. Again!"

They had not even noticed it but everytime they brought up a point, they took steps toward each other. Now, they were only feet apart.

"You're blaming it on me? Fine. I'm sorry, Bellamy. I'm sorry for supporting you, and staying loyal, and contributing in your family. I'm sorry that I can't stop myself from coming back to you. And most importantly, I'm sorry I have fallen deeply in love with you Bellamy Blake."

"And I'm sorry! Sorry that I can't stop caring for my sister. Sorry for taking you out at midnight with me. Sorry for not taking up anyone's temper. Sorry for standing up to everyone. And I'm sorry that I've been in love with Y/N Y/L/N all these years but couldn't admit it."

They were now face to face, yelling and confronting each other one to one. In that moment, the two realized that all of that arguing was hopeless.

"But, you just did." Whispered Y/N looking up at the boy in front of her.

With one swift movement, Bellamy brought their face to his. Their lips met each others in a passionate kiss that had been taken away from them for way too long.

Everything played out curiously for the two. One who denied the right to love and the other to knew it was bad to fall for them. However, in the end, they ended up in each others arms in a tent. The tent in which they just laid together, they had snuck out of, and built their story in.

Who would have thought that Bellamy Blake would ever feel love again. And out of all people Y/N Y/L/N, who he felt deserved much more.

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talk about crap yo. anywho, i haven't watched the show yet but i've read the books soo it's based off the book.