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justin foley | hate you, love you

HATE YOU, LOVE YOU
justin foley
[wc: 763]
~°~

»(y/n)«

Justin Foley.

The two words that hurt me the most. He was the one thing that kept me together, he just never knew it. We both made a mistake. We were just supposed to be friends, but I fell in love.

It all started with one drunk night, then it became a regular thing for us. It wasn't supposed to end like this. I wasn't supposed to fall in love with my best friend.

My best friend. We did everything together. The late night drives. Movies on Fridays. Late night phone calls. Spilling all our emotions. The little random gifts. The road trips. Mall trips. Fooling around and just being teenagers. That all changed after that one night.

There was no emotion between us. Now there was awkward conversations. Passing each other in the halls without saying anything. Avoiding eye contact. Yet, we still went at it.

Slowly, I fell in love. He was so caring and gentle. He was amazing. Whenever I needed him, he was there, even with the tension. I had to call it off. He was my best friend but I can not go on knowing that he does not feel the same way.

Then, I did it. I called it off. He stopped talking to me afterwards. I thought that the distance would bring me back to reality. I thought it would help me realize that he would never love me and I would get over him.

I realized how much I missed him. It hurt when he flirted with other girls. Or when girls threw themselves at them. The tension killed me. It never was light tension like before. The tension was heavy, intense, always needy. I still loved him.

One day, he came excitedly, not afraid to make eye contact anymore. "I think I love her." Those five words shattered my world. He was with someone now. He was happy, I should have been happy.

I envied her. I envied the way he stared at her. I envied how she had his heart. How she had his attention. How his lips pressed on hers with passion. I wanted that. I should have had that.

I felt used. He never cared. He never gave a damn. Now, I watch as he watches her like she's the only girl he's ever seen. I watch as he doesn't notice how it kills me.

»Justin«

(y/n) (y/l/n).

She was a nightmare dressed like a daydream. The kind of daydream you want to replay over and over again in your head. In the end, it was all just an illusion.

The drunk night. She calls it a mistake, but I don't. That night was the night that my emotions became clear. I loved my bestfriend.

I loved the feeling she gave me. The tingles I got whenever we were together. Her voice. Her hair. Her smile. Her personality. Her eyes. Her laugh. I couldn't get enough. I was in love.

She started acting different around me. There was no way to break this tension. I didn't know what was wrong. We were doing good. Then, she called it off. It felt as if thorns were jabbed in my heart.

I don't know what I did wrong. Did I go too far? I blamed myself. I wasn't there for her. I never pushed her to tell me what was wrong. I never knew. It was my fault.

Later on, she had someone else. It was until then when I realized that I was played. I was just her puppet. She never meant anything she said. I couldn't bare looking at her or talking to her. I thought that maybe if I did ignore her and burned bridges, I would stop loving her.

I missed her so much. I missed her when I couldn't sleep. Or after coffee. Or when I wouldn't eat. I missed her in the front seat of my convertible. My sweaters smelled like her from some nights we don't remember.

During this time, my friend helped me through everything. She would try to get her out of my mind. She would care for me. Make me happy. Make me laugh.

Little by little, I fell in love with her. She was so beautiful. She's what I messed up with (y/n). I needed that feeling again. We got together a little while afterwards. I would try to ignore Jocelyn in the hallways.

I was falling in love with my best friend again. But deep down inside, I knew that I belonged with (y/n).

[Uhhh, let's say Bryce gave him a convertible just bc I don't want to change it.]