Princess Can Fight |✓

Chapter 40: *Cries*

I felt empty. Like someone had stabbed me in the gut and left me to bleed out.

Maybe that's what happened to Brad?

Maybe he was just lying somewhere bleeding out of life.

That thought broke me.

The last time the thought had occupied my mind, I didn't realise how terrifying it really was until right about now?

Now I could feel everything I expected him to feel?

I could feel an ache as my bones shattered under my weight. I could feel my heart pound against my chest. I could feel blood pouring out of my veins. I could feel my body going cold. I could feel the betrayal weighing down on my shoulders.

I could feel nothing at all.

I could feel everything. All at once.

"Princess?" I felt shaky fingers on my shoulder.

I was just using him to fill the void inside of me. But now I felt the pieces he had used to fill my emptiness crumble.

I was hurting.

Because I had done something I hated myself for-- I had done it over and over again. Just to make me feel better.

Now I was empty.

Empty in every fucking sense of the word.

"Princess--What the hell do you think you're doing?" His voice cracked.

I couldn't even look at him.

How could I?

"Give me a fucking answer!"

"Austin?" I whispered. "Don't tell him."

"I won't if you tell me what's going on?"

"I can't explain this." I shivered. "It was an accident? I think? I don't know--" I was just shaking so fucking hard. The broken pieces of glass that I had clenched in my fist we're digging deeper and deeper into my skin.

"You know, you really are a fucked up little bitch!"

"Stop it!"

"No, no, you can't just give up in the middle of the night and throw stuff around and pretend like you're hurting!"

"It was an accident Austin!"

"You wanted someone to see you this way, didn't you?"

"Do you really believe that?"

"I don't know!"

"I--I think-- I--I love you?" I don't know what was going on in my head? I don't know why I chose that specific moment to spill those words out.

"How is that even remotely relevant to--"

"I had to tell you. I don't care if it's irrelevant-- I don't care about anything! I just want you to know that there is a chance that I may have feelings for you--"

"Don't do this."

"I'm just trying to make things-- better?"

"You're not making anything better! You're making this harder. And I hate you for that." I don't know what exactly I expected him to say. I guess I'd just hoped this wouldn't be it?

"Austin--"

"No. No. You can't just fool around with Brad and then tell me you love me out of nowhere? It's not fair to me. It's not fair to Brad. Hell, it isn't even fair to you. That's why you're here. You're-- you're doing that thing where you try to fix yourself by breaking someone else down into a million pieces. I refuse to let you do that! I don't want that for me-- I don't want to love you--"