Princess Can Fight |✓

Chapter 44: I couldn't love Austin Prince

IZABELLE'S POV

It was like the first day of school all over again.

Once again I felt truly alone. There was this weird but justified pain that I felt. And somehow, the loneliness didn't bother me all that much? It was as close to normal as I could ever expect any of this to be?

I found the same comforting blue eyes in the crowd. That stared at me with blind affection. And a sort of guilt that I still failed to understand.

My mind was lost.

Unprepared for the day to come as I made a conscious effort to hide how unaffected I was by everything that surrounded me.

I felt like somehow the universe was just waiting for me to get comfortable. So that it could collapse around me all over again.

Brad refused to talk to me. What sucked most about this entire situation was that Brad got away with whatever the fuck he did.

Nobody fought him. Nobody was even allowed to argue with him.

If he wanted to break my heart, he was allowed to. Just like that!

The worst part was knowing how much he cared about me. Knowing that there was nothing I could do to change anything.

That I had been in love with him. And that didn't mean anything anymore.

And I knew I couldn't feel that way about Austin Prince.

A part of it had to do with the fact that he was a monster. That he was just like me in so many ways that I couldn't look at him without seeing the part of me that I didn't want to believe existed.

He made me feel like shit.

He said that's why we'd fit.

What he didn't take into consideration was that maybe we were just never meant to fit.

We could fit. If there was some part of me that believed that I could come to love him.

I couldn't.

I couldn't love Austin Prince.

At least not anymore.

I wasn't sure I was capable of loving anyone anymore.

That obviously sucked because it meant that the last time I really felt anything close to love it was for the one person who refused to speak to me out of purely selfish reasons.

I didn't understand him!

I thought I did. Selfless Brad was the Brad I was used to! The Brad I knew! Maybe that meant I was being selfish?

But he was being unreasonable. He wanted nothing to do with me.

And after everything we'd been through--I thought, he was asking for too much.

He cared about me.

And at least a part of me had once been hopelessly in love with him. I still registered that. I understood that. I knew why I loved that boy. And it had more to do with who he was than what he made me feel.

Brad was strong and vulnerable. He understood himself. He acknowledged the existence of his heart and he made stupid decisions just to keep me safe.

While at the same time, knowing that he could only keep me safe by giving me the power to fight anyone who threatened me.

That I was the only one who could keep me safe.

And while there was nothing wrong with Austin Prince. That's all he was. Austin.