Crazy Mind -Destiel-

4- I'm not crazy

Dean gasps as his body jumps forwards, a heavy burning sensation ripping through his chest as if he's been hit with a baseball bat, his rib cage feels as if it's shattering with every breath. His heart stutters in his chest, stealing the breath from his lungs. His eyes shoot open just in time to see someone in a white coat press down on his chest.

A scream rips through his body as he's shocked awake the effect of the defibrillator more frightening than painful. His back aches and his stomach refuses to stop constricting and he can't hear. Everything is a blur of noise and colours around him he can't see them, he can't focus.

Dean

Dean freezes. The breath that had been stuck in his throat finally being caught as he pushes the hands trying to hold him down away, and throws himself forwards. The stretch as he sits up is excruciatingly painful and he can feel a set of burns forming on his chest.

There's a man stood at the end of his bed, his hair is dark and his eyes are even darker they shine an indescribable blue contrasting with the paleness of his clear white skin. Dean's never seen him before, yet he knows, he can see the brightness that shines within, that's being concealed by a man in a trench coat.

"You!" He shouts. "What did you do?" Castiel only stands there, watching Dean. He doesn't reply but his face is enough to tell Dean all he needs to know. He lied. "How-how could you? I trusted you!" Castiel used him to find his body, he's not going to heal Sam. Dean feels the tears fall down his face before he has the chance to catch them. His chest hurts so much more now, now that he knows, now that he can see his last hope slips through his fingers.

Castiel glances away and Dean's heart clenches in his chest. "You lied to me!" He screams, pushing away the hands that try to pull him down. A flicker of emotion shows on Castiel's face for a split second before it disappears again and he turns to face Dean with an indifferent expression. He walks forwards until he's standing beside Dean and raises his arm. "Don't touch me! Go away!" He shouts trying to wrestle his arms out of the grip of the nurses and doctors. He's screaming and fighting, trying anything he can to escape, to get away. Until he feels a hand grace his forehead and before he can fight it his eyes roll back into his head and the world before him turns black.

I'm sorry

...

When the car accident first happened Dean used to dream about it every night. Whenever he got close to shutting his eyes the memories would come flooding in. He'd be sat in the backseat screaming, calling for Sam and hurting for hours on end before he woke up again. The pain and exhaustion are never changing, except this time he isn't in the backseat, instead, he is crushed between the front seat and the steering wheel, his head caved in and flattened against what's left of the windscreen. This time he is surgically removed from the car, his organs barely refraining from leaving his body as he's placed onto the icy concrete. His heart is barely beating inside his chest yet he's not in pain anymore. He can't feel anything.

He's electrocuted time and time again in hope of getting any signs of a heartbeat even though it's pointless. Someone's screaming beside him, yelling at him to wake up, to move, but it easily fades into the background noise. The lights are too bright, he can barely see. He feels his head slump to the side, the lack of oxygen flowing through his body decreasing with every breath. It's true what they say about not being able to recognise yourself if you were to be shown a direct copy because when Dean looks to his side to see a young boy screaming and crying, with dark red blood covering his face, he doesn't recognise him. He doesn't know this boy or why he's so very sad.

Perhaps he can't feel anything either and doesn't like the way the very air is leaving his lungs, restricting his breathing. His eyes are growing tired with the strain of keeping them open just so that he can stare a little longer at this boy who means nothing and everything to him at the same time.