carphology (n.)
/kɑːˈfɒlədʒi/ plucking at the bedclothes by a delirious patient.
- - -
"i don't know, wonwoo. maybe jun's just gotten bored of me."
the boy opposite of minghao lets out an obnoxious scoff, crossing his arms and shaking his head. "are you serious?" he retorts, now having stood up to face his negative excuse of a friend. "he may be a jock or what not, but i doubt that he's gotten 'bored' of you."
minghao, feeling on the verge of tears, wails pathetically. "what else am i supposed to think? he hasn't answered me for the past two days!"
"have you ever tried figuring out why?" wonwoo frowns. "i hate to break it to you hao, but you're being selfish."
the librarian stops. now that wonwoo says it, minghao realizes just how true that statement is. he's being selfish. minghao isn't the only one in jun's life-- he never got himself to understand that jun has a family to take care of, a brother to watch, and a mother to support.
"...you're right. i--" minghao can't keep the tears from falling, covering his face with his palms and weeping into his hands. this makes wonwoo's frown deepen, pulling his friend into a tight embrace and rubbing his back soothingly.
"hey, don't cry. we'll figure this out, okay? jun loves you. he would never stop doing so."
minghao presses his face into wonwoo's chest, feeling a little bit bad about soaking his companion's shirt with his tears. "h-how can you be so sure? don't you think it's possible for him to...for him to..."
"shh." wonwoo hums, moving his fingers to card through minghao's hair. "let's try and be positive, alright? we can start with phoning around, asking some of jun's friends."
minghao nods. though when he turns to grasp his phone, it suddenly seems so far away and out of reach.
- - -
junhui wakes to the feel of being prodded. he wakes up from where he was resting, head against feng's hospital bed, and faces his fond mother.
"jun, i'm heading to work." she whispers, calmly enough as to not wake feng up. it's funny though-- as he is in a coma, he wouldn't wake anyway.
"okay. please stay safe." he responds, propping himself on his elbows in order to press a kiss to his mom's cheek. "i love you."
she smiles, but it's not genuine. it's forced, painful, but jun can still make out the remnants of a motherly instinct deep down. he does the same, pushing his lips to curl up just a little. enough to make his mother even a bit happy.
the existence of his phone is forgotten alongside the sound of the door closing.
- - -
"who can we call?" wonwoo queries.
they're on minghao's bed, said librarian holding his phone close to his chest. he can hear the way his heartbeat is pounding, and honestly, minghao believes it's loud enough for even wonwoo to catch.
"w-we can try chan," minghao says. "jun's best friend?"
"that works. go ahead."
scrolling through his contacts, minghao stops at the younger student's name. he looks back and forth between the phone number and wonwoo's supportive stare, stomach churning with nervousness and guilt.
with jun in mind, he hits the call button.
the line is quiet for a moment. "hello?"
"hey, chan, uh, it's minghao."
"hao, why didn't you call earlier? aren't you at the hospital?"
minghao's eyes widen. "h-hospital? chan, what're you talking about?"
it's quiet.
"didn't jun tell you?"
"no!" minghao exclaims, feeling the tears threatening to leak once again. "chan, what's wrong? is jun okay? oh god, please tell me he's okay..."
"jun's fine, it's not him, it's..." chan pauses. "it's feng. he's been in the hospital,"
"why didn't you tell me?" minghao is almost yelling at this point, wonwoo sitting behind him and mirroring the shocked expression.
"just go," chan says quietly. "please, hao. jun needs you right now."
- - -
once he reaches the hospital, minghao runs. in the spur of the moment he knew nothing else but feng, jun, and the possibilities of what was going to happen.
he sprints up to the help desk, all sweating and terrified, quickly asking for the wen family.
"what is your relation to the wen family?" the clerk asks. minghao runs a hand through his hair.
"b-boyfriend. junhui's boyfriend. please let me see him."
noticing the desperation in his voice, the clerk guides him to the room. she stops him before he can open the door, biting her lip and most likely thinking about how to put this.
though she walks away, having said nothing and leaving minghao to his own vices.
jun, jun, jun. minghao's mind coaxes as he hesitantly opens the door. feng, feng, feng.
he tries not to gasp when he sees the scene before him. minghao gathers himself, walking over slowly and around the still form of jun, who is watching feng's slow-moving corpse with wary eyes.
jun doesn't say anything. he takes minghao's hand in his, and continues staring. it's as if he knows it's minghao, he doesn't have to turn around and assess the person because he just...knows.
they watch in silence.
jun finally breaks the quiet atmosphere. "i'm sorry for not calling you." his voice is small and weak— minghao can almost hear the lack of sleep slipping through.
"it's okay."
"hao?"
minghao turns to his lover. "hm?"
"i love you." the look in jun's eyes is completely sincere. minghao dares to smile.
"i love you too."
minghao brushes his thumb underneath jun's eyes, wishing for the bags to magically disappear. but they don't.
and when they do kiss, it's passionate yet innocent, a brief reminder that everything will be okay.
all the romance novels minghao's gone through seem so dumbed-down compared to this. he's experiencing it for real now. he's learning what it's like to suffer even in the happiest of loves, to know pain and be on the brink of loss.
jisoo would sometimes tell him how cliche it all was. that a student and a librarian fell for each other. how similar it was to the books.
though it wasn't, really.
pressed into jun's side, minghao watches the gentle rise and fall of feng's chest. it makes him happy to see the stuffed elephant cuddled into his arms, and the book of animals sitting on the counter next to his bed.
they were all hurting. so, maybe it wasn't a perfect cliche right now. but did it have to be?
