I'm...not a monster? (vampire knight x reader) *UNDER EDIT*

Chapter 15: You will never understand

I could feel the warmth of his skin pressed against mine, the tingling under my skin at the pressure. The feeling of his gentle breath washing over my cheek, the sight of his closed eye lids. His ivory eyelashes brushed his cheeks.

The light pink tint to his cheeks, the gentle prick of his fangs against my bottom lip. Zero was kissing me. He pressed just the slightest bit closer, daring a reaction out of me, a shaky breath left me through my nose.

I pressed a hesitant, but reciprocating hint of pressure against his lips. My eyelids weighed heavily, drifting closed as I took in his warmth.

Zero drew back slowly, lips detaching from my own. I could hear the rapid sound of blood pumping through his veins, surely I was the same, I could feel the hard thumping of my heart in my chest.

My eyes fluttered open slowly, (E/C) meeting lavender, the gulp that followed was loud, too loud. Breaking the tense atmosphere as Zero jumped back, shooting off of me and falling back onto his behind.

His arm came up to press to his lips, eyes wide and chest heaving "w-what was that?!" he sputtered, shuffling back further as I sat up and wiped my lips with the back of my hand.

"Why are you asking me? You're the one that kissed me" I retorted.

He dropped his hand from his side, opening his mouth to spit out an argument before closing his jaws, looking away and shaking his head with a huff through his nose.

Standing up, I dusted the straw and dust off of my uniform, making my way over to the male on the floor. His eyes tracked my every movement warily, shuffling to sit up properly in case he needed to protect himself.

With a shake of my head, I rolled my eyes, stopping in front of him and holding out my hand "come on you slacker, you can't keep skipping disciplinary duties".

He gave a grumbled under his breath, hand coming up to grasp mine tightly, his other helping him push off of the ground. Standing up, he hurriedly released my hand and dusted himself off "let's go then before Yuki nags our ears off".

Really preferring not having to deal with another one of her angered rants, I nodded quickly. Turning on my heel and making my way to the barn, I didn't stop to wait for him, knowing he would be able to catch up with ease.

I took in the breeze that immediately washed over us happily, grateful for the cold dusting over my heated skin.

Zero stopped at my side, stuffing his hands in his pockets "let's get going then" he mumbled under his breath, with a nod, we took off at the same pace.

Slow and relaxed, we walked closer than usual, his arm brushing my own with every step. I tried not to be conscious of it, ignoring the warmth that shot through it at the touch.

–

Zero had walked me all the way into the girls dorm and stopped me outside my door, I stood to face him, my back to the door.

"Thank you for walking me here, but you really didn't need to"

Zero shook his head, offering a slight shrug "it's nothing, we're already too late for duties anyways, I had nothing better to do".

The corners of my lips turned up slightly, "well I appreciate the gesture none-the-less", reaching back I placed my hand on the door handle.

I paused as I began to twist the brass, with a deep breath, I leaned up towards the male, gently brushing my lips against his cheek, I lowered myself down to the flats of my feet once again "goodnight, Zero".

Without waiting for a response, I twisted the handle quickly and slipped inside my room, closing the door behind me. Leaning back against it, I pressed my head to the wood and took a deep breath, biting my lip to hide the smile that was creeping at my lips.

"Have fun?" came a sudden voice from my bed.

I jumped, eyes snapping over to the voice of the intruder, my hand hurriedly and instinctively reaching down towards my boot.

A deep breath of relief flooded out of my mouth at the familiar female figure sitting herself down on the edge of my bed.

"Yuki! You scared me"

As I stepped towards her, I could immediately feel the aura she was letting off, she was unhappy, very unhappy.

"What's wrong?" I mumbled worriedly, stepping towards her, my hand reaching for her shoulder. The brunette jumped up, slapping my hand away "I can't believe you!" she sputtered, throwing her arms out.

My eyebrows rose and I blinked owlishly at her "excuse me?" I mumbled quietly, surprised by her sudden yell.

"Knowing how I feel I can't believe you'd do something like that, (Y/N)" she breathed out, her eyebrows furrowed in clear anger, tears prickling at the edges of her eyes.

"You know I like them! And yet you're all over them! I'm not like you (Y/N)! It's not so easy for me!"

My lips parted in surprise at her claim, before they narrowed "I can't-- I can't believe you'd say something like that to me, Yuki" I whispered.

Her lips parted in surprise at the clear hurt laced in my voice, taken aback she leaned away from me slightly. "I--"

"Whatever you think you know about me, you're dead wrong" I looked up at her, my jaw clenched, upset by her misguided anger.

"You have no idea what it's like to be me, Yuki. I can't love anyone, I can't trust anyone. Because I know what will happen if I do. I'll get stabbed in the back again, I have to stop myself from liking anyone and everyone because I can't handle that again. You don't know a thing about me Yuki, and you will never understand".

I turned away from her with a shaky exhale "(Y- Y/N) I--", I held up my hand, effectively silencing her "...get out" I whispered.

"(Y/N) please--"

"I'm sorry I just-- I need to be alone right now, please leave".

Yuki paused, standing still for a brief moment before she lowered her head, fringe falling in front of her eyes, "I'm sorry" she whispered, turning on her heel quickly, she rushed out of the room, door slamming shut behind her.

I flinched at the obnoxious noise, collapsing onto the bed, I buried my face in the pillow with a quiet groan.

Squeezing my eyes closed, I wished sleep to take me.