I'm...not a monster? (vampire knight x reader) *UNDER EDIT*

Chapter 23: The truth hurts

*(Y/N)'s P.O.V*

I sniffed and wiped the tears away which were almost brought back by the desperate sobs emitting Ichiru, i stood up and put on a brave face, i knelt down beside an almost unconscious Zero ans stroked some silver hair from his lilac eyes, and smiled softly "when you wake up...i need to talk to you but for now rest" i ordered, he didn't argue and slipped into sleep. Kaname stepped in and took Zero to his room me following silently and Yuki still back in that room wit Ichiru trying to make sense of what ust happened. Sighing i thanked Kaname and shut the door after him, pulling up a chair i sat next to Zero's bed and watched as well as waited for him to wake up. His slightly erratic breathing, the soft beating of his heart, his eyes fluttering as he dreamed, his fingers twitching which i rested my warm hand over to calm him down. It worked his breathing steadied and his eyes stopp fluttering, the warmth of my hand comforted him. My breath caught in my throat as a sharp pain hit my forhead making me jerk my hand back to touch my throbbing head.

I panted as the pain intensified, i squeezed my eyes shut and leaned back in the wooden chair until the next wave of sudden pain hit me making me lean back even more therefore making the chair fall back. Hitting my already painful head on the floor i bit my lip to supress a scream and arched my back in pain, i saw something though two people a woman...and a man no wait- there's a little girl there too! She seemed older then me, the man and the girl both have silver hair but the woman has (H/C) hair. EIn fact the man and the girl looked alost exactly the same, same eyes colour and same hair colour, both pale but healthily, whereas the woman looked just like me (H/C) hair, (E/C) eyes and a bit more tanned "say hi to your big sister (Y/N)..." the woman cooed in a motherly voice 'big sister, Shizuka? So the little girl is Shizuka?' i asked in my head 'then that must mean! The woman is my mother and that man!...my father' i concluded. Then my mind flashed to another scene, it was pitch black and i heard the window open in my large room, my 'parents' leaned over the cot and picked me up, the light in my bedroom flicked on then a scream was head "give me back my baby!" my real mother screamed, but my fake mother quickly fled out the window, me in her arms. My fake father was in tow, i glanced over her shoulder to see my parents and Shizuka staring out the window and at me with longing, stretching their arms out as if they could reach me from this distance then...they vanished and my eyes snapped open.

I panted and thoughts flooded into my mind "so that's what happened" i mumbled out loud, luckily that event didn't wake up Zero. I sighed and grinded my teeth as pain hit me again and another vision started, my fake parents stood over me, my mother had a bowl and spoon in hand "say ahh..." she cooed sweetly, i kept my motuh screwed shut, she sighed and threw the spoon into the bowl splashing a little on my face and then harshly dumping the bowl onto the counter "what do you want from me huh?!" she screamed at my, i bore my fangs and she gasped "you little- you need to forget your silly little vampire history!" she snapped "honey!" she called and my father stepped into the room "you know what to do" she whispered, my father nodded then harshly grabbed my hair pulling me down the corridor and into a dark room with all types of liquids around, my hands clawed at my 'father's' hand in an attempt to pry him off, He threw me further into the room and locked the door behind him, he walked over to a desk and picked up a needle full of strange green liquid "don't worry dear, after this we'll be the perfect parents for you" he chuckled and walked closer, the needle gleaming in the dim light of the gloomy room. I backed up until my back was pressed against the stone wall, just as soon as the needle came into contact with my skin the vision stopped and the pain in my head subsided "they...they actuallu did that to me?" i asked no one.

Sighing i got up and picked the chair up then sat on it ticked off about almost my whole life being a lie! My arms were crossed over my chest and my brows furrowed in anger 'if they were still alive! I would kill them!' i hissed in my head. I shook of the murderous thoughts and walked towards the full body mirror and gasped, my hair was slightly longer and my eyes shone, yeah i was attractive before but...wow! I look like a goddess! I smiled at my reflection and the pureblood blood running through my veins, i felt...stronger, so much stronger! I grinned and started laughing quietly so as not to wake up Zero. Calming down and shaming myself for laughing after my sister just passed i sat down next to Zero on the bed and trailed my index finger over his cheek, then his lips and all the way down to his neck, i gulped my eyes trained on his neck. With my even more heightened senses i could hear the blood rushing through, i licked my lips and leaned closer but my eyes widened and pulled myself away "no! (Y/N) what are you thinking?!" i whisper-yelled at myself.

I lifted my hand up and brought it down on my own face, a chuckle was heard adn Zero propped himself up on his elbows "slapping yourself, really (Y/N)?" he asked with his eyes still closed. I gasped and helped him sit up, resting him against the beadboard. Zero opened his eyes and widened them at my new appearence "what happened to you, your hair is longer, how long was i out?" he asked, i glanced at the clock "couple hours" i shrugged. Zer furrowed his brows and leaned closer to sniff me then he growled "you smell similar to that woman" he hissed scooting away. I gulped "actually Zero, that's what i wanted to talk to you about...you said you loved me right?" i asked, he nodded confused "well you might not love me anymore after i tell you this" i warned him. He seemed even more confused now, I huffed and started telling him my story. The whole time he didn't interrupt or didn't make an expression other than surprised "...so you see, i'm a pureblood" i finished. Zero sat there processing but then his shocked look turned angry "Your related to her?!" he scream standing up, which shocked me so much and jumped off teh bed and walked a couple of paces away from him.

He got off the bed and growled even more "what's more your a pureblood?!" he asked, i gulped and opened my mouth to say something but he didn't want to hear it, putting his hand up to silence me his head turned to the floor his other hand clenched in a fist as he tried to calm down "why?" he asked, his voice craking which i winced at "why what?" i asked cautiously "WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE YOU?!" he screamed catching me by surprise " WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME?! WHY DOES EVERYONE I LOVE GET TAKEN AWAY?!" he continued, his head now facing me so i could see the tears streaming down his face "i-i'm not gone, i'm still here" i stuttered taking a step towards him in which he took mulitple steps back "are you?" he asked, my mouth was agape and tears blurred my vision "get out...please" he turned his hack to me "Zer-" "GET OUT!!!" he screamed still not turning to me, i gasped and flinched, the tears now streaming down my face, my nrows furrowed in fainst anger "fine" i snapped "but! Just remember Zero, i still don't think you're a monster" i whispered "i can't say the same for you" he muttered but i caught it. My teeth clenched and a single sob escaped, he flinched at the sound of it "i-i see, well i'm sorry i ever darkened you door" i hissed storming out.

When i exited the bioys dorm i started running, towards the forest sobs still exiting my mouth. My dress making it hard so i picked the ends of it up to run better. With new extra fast speed i reached the edge of the lake, i collapsed to my knees and soobed loudly, my tears dripping into the lake and merging with the water. I heard a twing snap behind me but i ignored it to upset about the previous events "(Y/N)?" an all too familiar voice called out. Kaname emerged from the forest and stared at me with a clear worried look on his face "what happened?" he asked, i sniffed and whispered out what happened, he sat next to me and sighed "i had a hunch you were the missing Hip heir but i had no idea whether i was right..." he muttered solmely "so, Zero actually said that did he?" he asked, i nodded "do you think i'm a monster?" i asked "you're the same kind as i am so of course not" he chuckled "is that the only reason?" i asked, the sobs stpping but the tears still streaming down my face "no, just because your race changed doesn't mean you did, you're still the same clumsy, careless, crazy (Y/N)" he said, "oh thanks" i mocked laughter "but...you're also the same beautiful, and cheerful, and bright, and precious (Y/N) we all need" he finished "i went after him again but-" "i know, it's hard isn't it but i a always here for you (Y/N), even more so because i'm allowed to now" he said "allowed to?" i asked "you're a pureblood, technically i couldn't ever had married you or you couldn't bare my children because you were an ordinary vampire" he explained.

I blushed at the thought of being his wife and having his children "but now you're a pureblood, ot now you've remembered and your pureblood powers are back it is official, we would be allowed to marry and have children" he finished "right..." i muttered "c-can i think about it?" i asked "of course princess, until then" he smiled, stnading up to bow then disappeared. I sighed and ell back to lay down on the soft 'oh, my Tsubaki what am i going to do?' i asked the moon hoping to get an answer but knowing i never will.