Can't Change the Past

~35~

Beyoncé POV

It's a little after two in the morning. I haven't eaten or spoken a word to anyone. I was numb. I barely got my breathing regulated a few minutes ago. It was just me and my mom in the waiting room. Solange and my dad took King and Aubri back home and fed them. I was here right away this time. Why won't they let me in?
"Beyoncé?" I looked at my mother and she could see the devastation all over my face. "They're going to be alright."
"......"
"Beyoncé talk to me sweetie."
"You don't know that."
"Don't talk like that."
"Mama I'm trying to accept the fact that I might have to..." I couldn't pull myself to say it. I broke down again.
"Shhh." she said holding me while I cried. "It's going to be okay."
"But mama they won't tell me anything. They won't even tell me if they're in surgery or not! We've been sitting here for hours!"
"They're probably just trying to get everything straight before they come talk to you. You don't want fifty different people telling you different things having your pressure up and down."
"I need to know something!"
"Hey, I know. I know but you have to be strong for them."
"I don't think I can."

I woke up to taps on my leg. I opened my eyes and saw Lauren standing in front of me with breakfast and a soft smile.
"Hey BB. I know you haven't eaten since you've been here."
"What time is it?"
"It's 9:03."
"Where are they?"
"They just got out of surgery." I hopped up so fast, "Wait, wait."
"I can't. I want to see them now."
"Listen to me. They're in ICU."
"What? Why?" I began to panic.
"Sit down." I slowly sat down. "From what the police officers told me, Marquis was shot trying to protect McKenzie. One of the robbers reached for her and he wrestled with them for a little bit before a gun went off."
"Th- they shot him?"
"It grazed the lower lobe of his lung and came out hitting her in the arm."
"NO!"
"BB they're out of surgery. That's good news." my mom said trying to console me.
"She's right Beyoncé. Kenzie is still sleep, she'll wake up when the medicine wears off."
"And Marquis?!"
"His surgery took a little longer. He slipped into a coma because of the amount of blood he lost."
"But he's going to wake up right?! Lauren please tell me he's going to wake up."
"I can only tell you that he will wake up on his time. I don't want to give you a time frame and it take longer."
I nodded, "Can I go see them?"
"Kenzie, yes. Marquis is isolated because of his low white blood cell count. He's highly susceptible to infection and we don't want anything to compromise his progress."
"Thank you. I really do appreciate it."
"No problem. Eat this food I brought y'all and when you can go back and see her, I'll come get you."
"Okay."
"How you feeling?"
"I feel- I feel like I don't deserve a family."
"Don't say that."
"Mama every time things go right something always pops up to ruin it."
"You just have to be strong baby. They ain't dead and that's a blessing in itself."

About an hour later, Lauren came and got us. I walked into Kenzie's room and they had a bright pink cast on her arm.
"Mama, I can't." I turned around.
"You can't what? Beyoncé that is your child. She needs you!"
"I can't go in there."
"So what are you going to do? Ignore her?"
"Mama I almost lost her!"
"We all almost lost her. That's your child, but she's also someone's niece, sister, and granddaughter! We're all hurt but you, you need to be there when she wakes up."
"It's so hard to watch her hooked up to those machines."
"Come here." we went to sit in the chairs right outside her room. "What is the real problem? You've been crying and praying  all night that they're alright. Now you're too dam scared to sit next to her bed and be with her?"
"When King was in the hospital he almost didn't make it. That allergic reaction almost killed him and it's just bringing back bad memories. I've almost lost two of my children. And, and I know neither situation was directly my fault but I feel like I should have been there to protect them."
"You were too young to remember this." she sighed. "The day we got the phone call about Robert was the day I slipped into the deepest depression. I didn't eat, sleep, bathe, clean, nothing. I couldn't even comfort you girls. It took me months before I was able to look at your sister and not see his face because they looked so much alike. Then one day I couldn't do anything without her. I had to have her with me 24/7. I tried pulling her out of school but your father wouldn't let me. She was his twin and the last part I had of him. So I know the hurt you're feeling but I promise you it gets better."
I hugged her for what seemed like forever before she left me there in the hall by myself and went in. "Hey, why you out here?"
"I'm trying to get the strength to go back in there."
"BB, come on." Solange said.
"Where are my other babies?"
"At home with daddy asking is their baby sister okay."
"Okay."
"How's Marquis?"
"I can't see him because he's still too critical."
"Well you can see Kenzie. So come on." she pulled me and marched me into the room.
"Mommy!"
"Oh my baby!" I ran to her bed and she jumped on me. "How are you baby!"
"Mommy I was scared. The man came in with the gun and started shooting and saying bad words." she cried into my chest.
"It's okay, it's okay. He's not going to get you. You're safe now."
"Daddy! He hurt daddy! Where's my daddy?!"
"Hey, shhh."
"No mommy he hurt daddy really bad." she cried. "Is he okay?"
"Y- yes."
"Where is he?"
"He's sleeping in the adult part of the hospital."
"Can I go see him?"
"We need you to get better first okay?" she nodded. I laid back against the pillows and just held her.
"Mommy why is there a pink thing on my arm?"
"You got hurt, you don't remember?"
She shook her head, "Daddy was in front of me fighting the bad guys and then I woke up here."
"It's okay baby just get you some rest."