FAKE

PART I: ASHLEY

II: love

I was so shocked to hear what Andrew said that I got up and ran out of the restaurant. I don't know where my head is or what I'm thinking about, it's just one big blur. Why did Jason have to do that, to open his mouth. Was Andrew's confession real or just for comfort. I quickly realize that my keys are at home because I came with them in Ashley's car. I'm trapped. Call an UBER. As I'm opening the app, Andrew comes running up behind me and just enwraps me in a kiss. His soft lips are silky against mine and his hand lays softly on the side of my face. This warm rush of relief swarms around me and I let my hand drop the side. My first kiss ever and I feel the excitement run through me. I quickly pull away, frightened.

"Jane, it's ok."


"No, it's not. You're just doing this to comfort me. I know."


"No I'm not." He says, smiling on my lips. He must've ate a mint the waitress gives when she hands you the check because his breath smells minty and fresh. His cologne reminds me of a strong man, the scent is sweet but just enough without being too sweet. He leans over and kisses me again.

Ashley and Jason run out of the restaurant and they see Andrew and I standing there, embracing and kissing. What a mess.

"My impact," Jason says, as he brushes off his blue t-shirt.

"I hate you," I say.

"You love me, stop lying to yourself."
Ashley doesn't say a word.

In the car, Andrew sits with Jason in the back and I sit in the front with Ashley again.

"That was shocking," she says.

"It was," I say, noticing the hint of jealousy in her voice.

"I'm really happy for you, Jane, I hope it lasts."

There was a passive aggressiveness to her tone. A backhanded compliment. I turn towards her and realize that a single tear has fallen down her cheek.

"Drop them off and let's talk at my house," I say sympathetically.

Ashley drops off Jason, I've never seen where he lives but then shortly realize it's a few minutes away from Andrew's. Ashley then drives to Andrew's dropping him off and he kisses me a goodbye on the cheek. I smile and my face turns a shade of rushing red.

When the car is silent, Ashley continues driving to my house.

We walk in and she starts sobbing. 
"Ashley, what's wrong?"

She shakes her head and insists she's ok. I motion her to sit on the couch and she does, crying into a pillow.

"I'm never going to have a boyfriend."

"Don't say that," I say, realizing she's talking about Paul.

Paul was her ex-boyfriend for two years. When we started high school, they started going out. It was 10th grade when they split. It was devastating for Ashley and shortly after that, at the beginning of last year, her parents split. A domestic abuse rumor shot through the school about her dad hitting them. That was the breaking point for Ashley, she cut her hair short and died her hair brown. She started wearing plain clothes. It was a huge switch for her and that's when we almost broke our friendship. It's been two years since Paul but we never talked about it. We don't talk about it not because it's sad, but just because our friendship almost fell apart after Ashley broke to pieces. I had never gone through that so I didn't know how to handle her. It was wrong on my part to just not try to be there 100% for her. I was there but at the same time wasn't. I thought giving her space and letting her handle things on her own was the best solution when in reality she needed someone. She needed me and I failed at that.

"Yesterday marked 2 years since Paul broke up with me."

"I know," I say, crouching down to hug her.

She sobs in my arms and I can feel her pain.

"Ashley, he wasn't a good boyfriend. Everything happens for a reason," I tell her.

She looks up and realizes that what I said is true. He's not worth it.


"You're right, Jane. Let's talk about it."


I've never heard Ashley sound so hurt in the six years that I've known her. I'm finally ready to sit down and listen to her.

"I caught Paul with someone."

"Ashley, you see. He wasn't loyal and you were. Why are you so heart broken about it?"
"Jane, when I saw Paul with the other girl, I went and found myself another guy."
"What?"
She was telling me something that I've never known before.

"I found myself a few other guys and they all used me. I blame this on Paul, he broke me so much that I'm not capable of having relationships anymore. The abused slut, that's what they call me. It sticks with me and I don't want that," Ashley breaks down in even more tears, "I just want someone to love me. Someone I can just be happy with."


"Sometimes it's better being alone and surrounded with friends that are actually here for you. I'm here for you."

"I know that now but back then I felt like I had just had a thousand knifes stabbed in my back and Paul just sat there and watched me bleed to death."

"You're okay now and that's good. Look, you have all of us as friends and you're doing so much better than you were before!"


"Yeah, I guess."


"Stay the night, Ashley, I'll keep you company."
"

Thank you, Jane. I love you."


"I love you more."