FAKE

PART III: ANDREW

OCTOBER 2017

I: recovery

Jason was suspended from school for a week but he's back now. He's separated himself from us completely. We don't really think about him anymore. I asked Andrew a thousand times what happened but I get the same answer every time. Andrew tells me that he didn't tell Jason any secret but that Jason said he was so lonely and depressed. Andrew kissed him to make him feel better but that there was nothing to it. They've been best friends for seven years so it was more of a friendship kiss, at least that's what Andrew says. I hope I can trust and believe in that. It took a month to recover from that but I did. He knows not to get anywhere near me or Andrew. I just wish things weren't the way they were.

I have lost two of my closest friends in the past month and I have no idea what I'd do without Evelyn and Andrew. I guess Evelyn really is a true one, we did have our breaks but in the end she's always been there for me in the worst of times. I appreciate that so much. In the two months since I've had Andrew, he's done everything and has supported me. I love them two so much. They keep me on the ground.

I turn on the song called I Would Die For You. It encapsulates my entire feelings into one song.

You are everything to me

The world goes dark and I can picture myself with Andrew again. Just alone with him.

And I, I would die for you

I really wish that he was here right now, just holding me, telling me that they don't matter.

There've been times when I'm up all night

I know I'm most likely overreacting because I'm lonely but its not true. Andrew is the only thing in this world right now that is making me happy.

Crying in the dark, so I sleep with the light on

I suddenly think: what if I'm the reason everyone's snapped at me? What if I'm a horrible person? Why does Andrew even love me?

I stop the music and collapse on the floor crying. Like I have said a million times, I really wish this shit wasn't like this.

I go downstairs and get myself some lemonade. I drained the drink down in a fast gulp and started crying. I honestly don't know what has gotten into me but it needs to stop. I couldn't concentrate any longer on my sadness. Stepping away from the kitchen, I scroll through my social media accounts looking blankly at the dumb things these people post. I set my phone down on the counter and go upstairs to wash my face. I can feel myself sink into this downward spiral of sadness. My head races with zooming thoughts of panic. Thoughts of losing Andrew and of losing Evelyn. That would be terrible. It would be the end of the world for me. I finish washing my face and I feel refreshed and better. I head downstairs and I pick up my phone and decide to call Andrew. He picks up the phone right away. I tell him that I miss him, while he tells me to come over. I pick up my keys and get into the car. Driving down the road, I try to get the sadness out of my head before arriving to Andrew's house because I don't want him to see me like this. I just really think I'm overreacting, that's it.

When I arrive at his house, I step outside and he's already waiting for me. He has on the red shirt today and it highlights his smooth face. I walk up to him and kiss him, running my hands through his silky soft hair. Andrew's chocolate brown eyes are everything. He wraps his strong hands around my waist and we stay there for a minute or two. I really wish it was always like this. This is exactly what I needed.

"I don't want to lose you," I finally say after a while.

"You won't. I promise. We've stuck by each other for three months and we've known each other for a long time. What else could happen?"

I stare at him and kiss him again, this time more passionately. He guides me inside and tells me that he has a surprise for me.

He hands me this box, a small box. I slowly unwrap it and untie the ribbon. Inside is a gold necklace. It has a simple etching of A + J on in cursive. I tear up and tell him thank you. I rest my head on his chest and my red hair falls in front of my eyes.

"One more thing," he says, while fumbling to find something on his desk.

"What?" I ask, curiously.

He finally finds a paper and points to it saying, "we're going on a vacation tomorrow. I booked it myself. We're going to California for the weekend."