•our little secret• G.D (COMPLETED)

twenty seven

Maya left my room, shutting the door behind her. I laid back down, staring at the wall, all the memories flooding in.

Around 3 am, I went up to go pee, and I heard something from Ethan's room.

I stopped at his room, and slowly opened the door.

I found Zaria sitting on the ground, next to his bed with his favorite stuffed bear, crying into it.

I walked in, and shut the door behind me.

I went to her and comforted her, letting her cry onto me.

Grayson: i miss him too, z

Zaria: why'd he have to go?

Grayson: i don't know, i miss him more and more everyday

Zaria: will he ever come back?

Grayson: that's like asking if dad will come back

Zaria sighed and I wiped her tears off her face.

Grayson: go get some sleep

She stood up, handing me the bear, and walked out, shutting the door. I looked at the bear, and pulled it close to me. I acted as if the bear was Ethan, hugging him so tightly.

But he wasn't coming back.

I slowly fell asleep.

*dream*

I was sitting against the wall, and I still had the bear in my arms. I stood up, and the door opened, slowly.

Ethan was there. He was smiling, happy as ever.

"Ethan?"

I felt myself tearing up.

I stood up and ran to him, hugging him so tightly.

"Hi gray"

"Wh-how- WHAT!"

"Gray, I need you to listen to me."

He sat down next to me on his bed.

"This isn't your fault at all, I promise you. Nobody could help me, i feel the exact same way you feel, bud."

Tears started streaming down my face and Ethan wiped them away.

"I will always be with you, no matter what, even though you can't see me, I will be with you, and I miss you so fucking much, you don't even know."

"I love you bro, you have a purpose, there's no need to end it. Even tho I was in a really shitty place mentally, I shouldn't have done it, especially because of you. It's nothing like I expected. I need you bro, I'm here, and I know you'll never really see me in real life. Yet, I'm here with you, every single second. Make sure you keep Aniyah happy, she's a good girl, keep her. I wish I could start over and stay here, making sure you were happy. I failed, but I'm still here. We will see each other someday, someday soon."

I was holding hands with him. Facing him on the bed. He was crying too.

"I love you more, Ethan.."

*reality*

My eyes shot open. It was still dark out.

Ethan was gone. He was never there, but I still remembered the exact words he said.

I needed him.

I got up, put the bear on his bed, and slipped on some shoes.

I went into my room and grabbed my phone, and called Aniyah.

She answered after 3 rings.

Aniyah: what are you doing calling me at 4 in the morning on a Sunday?

Grayson: i just wanted to say i love you

Aniyah: i love you too, but why?

Grayson: i'll miss you

Aniyah: what're you talking about Grayson?

Grayson: i have to go and see Ethan, goodbye

Aniyah: GRAYSON!

I hung up and threw my phone on my bed.

I grabbed a sticky note and wrote a note on it saying :

"Dear Maya, Zaria, Mom, Dad, Aniyah, all the boys, and everyone who ever made me happy, I have to go and see Ethan. I need him, he needs me. Don't worry, I'll be alright up there. I will miss all of you dearly, but it's my time to leave. I love you all so much. Thank you Maya, for being such an amazing older sister, always being there for me. Thank you Zaria, for always caring for me, tucking me in on long nights. Thank you Mom, for taking care of me, loving me, you were such an amazing mom. Thank you dad, for leaving, letting mom take all of us four kids alone. No wonder Ethan left. Thank you aniyah, for always making me happy, talking to me, cuddling, everything. Thank you to all the boys, talking to me, helping me get out of my comfort zone, you've been with me since day 1. And dear mommy's little girl, I know you never got a chance to see me, but I love you so much. Ethan misses you too, stay happy princess, you're so beautiful and sweet. Just know that gray and e-tee-wee-tee love you, and we will see you soon. and everyone else reading this, if you ever hurt me or made me happy, just thank you, for everything. This is the last thing you'll ever hear for me, thank you, i will miss you, and I love you all. Goodbye -g"