117//Newt

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This was a collab with the wonderful NewtsGoggles she wrote the smut and helped me with the fluff. She is a wonderful writer and such a gem. You guys should totally check out her Thomas Sangster/Newt smut book. It's bloody amazing. Thank you NewtsGoggles for helping me write probably my favourite imagine I've ever wrote. I hope we can write another one again sometime. You bloody inspired me ;)
-Izzy

Ps - this imagine contains smut

You and Newt sat for a long time in silence, watching the small crack of light. The mall was quiet and you were shucking thankful you'd escaped from the W.I.C.K.E.D compound. However, as much as you hated to admit it — the fight simply wasn't over. All this happened to be was a breather. Some time to sit and think about what on earth could possibly happen to you next.

The pair of you stay in silence until you break it, almost without realising you're speaking aloud.

"How did you bare them?" You ask quietly, "The nightmares,"

Newt sighed in thought.

"I didn't. I still don't. I drag myself out of sleep each morning and find there's no relief in waking," He says flatly, his eyes fixating on the wall in front of him.
He almost continues, but something in your expression stops him. Something of worry. He lets out a shaky sigh and turns his head to meet your gaze.

"Better not give in to it, though. It takes ten times as long to put yourself together as it does to fall apart."

You nod and take a deep breath, forcing yourself back into one piece. After a brief and silent pause, he speaks again, trying to reassure you.
"Y/N...it just," He thought for a second, "It all begins in your head."

"What do you mean Newt?" You ask in reply.

"You need to take the power you so desperately want it to not have, away — and remember, always, that even if it feels you're loosing, it doesn't mean that you've lost," His gaze fixates on yours, leaving you almost entranced, "And there are always people who can help you to do that,"

"You're right," You start, lifting your legs onto the bed and crossing them, "I was only ever kissed by one guy, and y...- he probably doesn't realise how much he helped me," He knows you're talking about him, "It was a long time ago, but still, it was nice. The kiss, I mean,"

You see him smile and give you a slow nod. He lets a huff of air out.

"I'm gonna get some rest,"

"Good idea...," you whisper in reply, laying back and staring at the ceiling.

~•~

You burst awake, sweat pooled around you. Your shirt clung to your wet skin, the fabric suffocating and airtight. Your hair is tangled around your neck, stuck with glue-like moisture.

Stumbling to your feet, you grab a knife which lay on a table near Newt's side of the bed. A glint of steel catches your eye, coming from the far end of the mall. You walk exhaustedly toward it.

You look at the cracked mirror and glare at your reflection. You didn't recognise yourself anymore, your eyes surrounded by purple, the once bright whites of your eyes now a monotonous shade of red. Your nightmares follow you like a shadow, conscience drifting between reality. The skin on your neck is hot, coated in sweat and tangles. You grab your long hair and hold it taught, pulling it off your neck.

After just a few seconds of hesitation, you bring the knife to your hair and slice into it. Not before long, your hand is mercilessly hacking off chunks of it as your breathing becomes erratic.

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