Losers' Club //Richie Tozier//

🎈81. 🎈

I let out a small breath of smoke and closed my eyes while leaning my head back in satisfaction. This is the first time I've felt good in a long time... taking in a deep breath of a stick that might kill me sooner than expected.

I heard the front door open and I quickly snapped my head in that direction.

"Cole?" I heard a familiar voice ask.

I let out a sigh, "you scared me." I said as I looked back at the empty street and the darkness that hovered over Derry.

"Are you smoking?" She asked.

"Are you gonna tell dad?" I asked as I put the cigarette between my lips and slowly took in a deep breath.

She sighed as she sat on the chair next to me, "No." She mumbled before she looked over at me with a raised eyebrow. I pulled the small pack of cigarettes and opened it for her. She reached in and grabbed one gently. She placed it between her lips and I lit it for her, "thanks." She mumbled as she took in a deep breath, "What are you doing out here at 3:00am?" She asked.

"I couldn't sleep." I said as I tapped the delicate stick and watched the ashes fall onto the porch floor.

"Aren't you scared that dad might come out and see you? I mean who smokes on their porch in the middle of the night?" She chuckled.

"Crazy, isn't it?" I chuckled as well.

There was a moment of pause. The occasional breaths in and breaths out filled the air once in a while. I couldn't help but let my mind wonder off to things that probably aren't important anymore.

"Are you going to finally talk about it?" She asked quietly.

"Talk about what?" I asked.

"I'm not stupid, okay? You came home one day with big-puffy eyes and with your cheek red. You haven't gone out and that's the first time I've heard you chuckle since then. It's been what? Three weeks?" She asked.

I shrugged my shoulders, "Don't worry about it Isabelle." I said as I pressed the cigarette against my lips.

"What do you mean don't worry about? What's wrong? Did Richie do something to you?" She asked.

"I talked about all of this with someone and I don't want to do it again, okay?" I asked annoyed, "I'm fine." I lied.

"If you really are fine then you would tell me what's wrong." She insisted, "you would tell me why you're smoking at 3:00am, why you're staying in all day, and why you hardly see your friends-"

"I don't think we were ever friends." I interrupted, "I mean come on..." I chuckled, "I used to fuck around with them for fun."

"You've grown up and owned up to your mistakes." She sighed, "but it always comes back to that, huh?"

"Mhmm." I hummed, "always."

"That's in the past, why can't you let it go?" She asked.

I smiled slightly as I shook my head side to side, "you don't understand, nobody does. The past stays with you... there's no way to out run it. When people say it's just the past and to forget, it's not that easy because it will follow you, everywhere. Every turn you take in life, every mistake you make, every smile, every time you have a single strip of happiness the past will run towards to you at full speed and remind you of it wether it's good or bad." I said quietly, "so no there's no forgetting the past. Ever."

"Then what do we do? We embrace it or tuck it away in a small box and leave it in the attic for years?" She asked.

I shrugged my shoulders, "depends... if it's as fucked up as ours then there's no really way we embrace it and bring that pain back." I said honestly.

"Our life is pretty fucked, huh?" She chuckled.

I nodded my head while letting out a small laugh of my own, "I wonder where we went wrong." I thought out loud, "I just want to get the hell out of this town."

"What if you come with me?" She asked.

I let out a small breath, "what?" I asked.

"What if you come with me? I'm obviously not going to stay here my entire life... I was thinking about moving out soon." She said.

"Really? You would let me come with you?" I asked as I tapped my cigarette gently.

"Yeah, why not?" She asked, "I'm responsible." She said, "we'll enroll you in a brand new school and we'll definitely be far away from here." She said as she reached over to rub my arm.

I thought about her offer for a while. My entire life is here in Derry. Richie's here, but then again it's been three weeks without hearing anything from him. There's a killer clown running around and there's nothing but pain and misery. Maybe leaving earlier than expected is better than staying.

I nodded my head, "Okay." I mumbled, "let's get the fuck out of here."

"We just need to ask dad... that's going to be hard but I think we can convince him." She said, "just think about it Cole, just us two, living independently..." she sighed, "Where would we live though?"

"As long as it's far from here I don't care." I said as I closed my eyes.

I took in a deep breath and held it in for a while.

Oh Derry.

-
❤️Happy Wednesday!❤️
I've been having a lot on my mind lately and I honestly don't know what to do. I guess it's just part of being a teenager, but oh well. Anyways I hope everyone is having a good week so far.