Losers' Club //Richie Tozier//

🎈46. 🎈

There she was.

Sitting on the picnic blanket with her yellow dress perfectly fluffed. God, I loved that dress.

Her beautiful brown hair was perfectly styled with curls. Her pink lips formed into a wide smile; she's perfect.

"I love you so much." She whispered.

I smiled as I closed my eyes for a quick second and then there I was... standing on the side watching her speak to a baby that was now in her arms.

"Mom?" I said but my voice only echoed through the empty walls in my head.

"You're so beautiful Nicole." She said under her breath.

I felt my heart skip a beat as a smile formed on my lips. That baby that she held in her arms and gave all her affection to was me.

I walked closer to her and fell on my knees in front of her. I tried to touch her shoulder but I felt nothing.

"I love you." I whispered as I looked at her perfect features that made up her face.

"It will be here any minute." She said as she turned to look at me. Future me.

I widened my eyes as I looked down at her, "What?" Is all I managed to ask.

"It will be here soon." She said.

I looked around quickly and ran inside my home and locked the door.

I want to wake up now!

I heard a childish laugh coming from all directions. I pressed my back against the wall as I looked in every direction blindly.

"Wake up!" I screamed to myself as I covered my face with my hands, "wake up!"

I sat up quickly as I looked around my room. I took in heavy breaths as I pushed away the wet hair on my forehead.

I stood up and turned on the light. I quietly opened my door and walked down stairs.

"Phoebe?" I whispered quietly. After no response I'm assuming he wasn't here yet.

I walked inside the kitchen and turned on the light. A midnight snack won't do any harm.

"Nightmare?" I heard a voice ask. I jumped at the sudden voice and quickly backed into the wall, "It's just me." Isabelle smiled.

"You're one scary Bitch." I hissed as I slowed down my beating heart and slowly made my way over to the kitchen cabinet.

She smiled as she shrugged her shoulders, "possibly." She said, "Red cheeks, puffy eyes, sweat, scared at every single little thing that moves... nightmare." She said. Maybe this is why I don't like her, more than half of the time she's right, "What was it about?" She asked.

I sighed as I grabbed a box of cereal and opened the refrigerator and turned around once I didn't find the milk, "a box of cereal and the milk carton in front of you... 3rd bowl of cereal." I said as I raised an eyebrow.

She let out one of her chilling giggles as she licked her spoon, "we got our sarcasm from dad." She said, "it's funny how we're so alike but so different." She said as she scrunched up her nose.

"We're nothing alike." I huffed. I grabbed my bowl and took a seat in front of her.

"We both seek for an unstoppable adventure, we rebel against the rules, immature jokes... we're more alike than you think." She smiled, "hmm, I wonder why you cut your hair like that... kinda resembles mine. Don't ya think?" She asked.

"Is that what you wanted? Is that why you left and did all that shit? You wanted mommy and daddy's attention? Huh?" I asked as I poured milk into my bowl.

A small grin formed on her lips, "isn't that what you're doing too?" She asked as she licked her lips. I stared at her for a while, "exactly." She mumbled.

"We're alone... cut the shit, why are you really here? All of a sudden you decided to pop up out of no where. What is it? Money?" I asked as I dipped my spoon in the bowl.

She let out a small chuckle, "want the truth?" She asked, "yes, money." She said, "Traveling is fun but it costs money, so does food, clothes, it all costs money." She said as she set her bowl aside, "I was coming back from England when I realized I was out, what better place to go than home? I was broke, Jess was gone, Dad was stable, mom's batshit crazy, you got jumped... it was time to come home."

"You're sick." I hissed.

She shook her head side to side, "I play it smart that's what I do." She said as she grabbed her bowl, "Don't you realize? You and I are exactly the same and I bet you'll end up doing what I did." She said.

"Stop saying that shit, we're nothing alike Isabelle." I said.

"Sometimes I think that Jess was the only one in our family who would actually be a stable person."

"Oh shut up, don't act like you cared about her." I said as I furrowed my eyebrows.

"She was my little sister too."

"Hardly."

"Cut it out Cole." She snapped.

"No, you cut it out. Stop talking about Jess and what she could of been, she's gone Isabelle, gone. She's not coming back today, she's not coming back tomorrow, she's never coming back. A-and this is the first time I'm saying this out loud but she's gone, she's dead. Mom's right she's gone and it won't ever be the same, dad is holding on by a thread and maybe that's what's keeping him from going crazy as shit too but you know what? If me pretending that she's gonna come back even though it's hurting me is the best for him then so be it I'll pretend. But you out of everyone knows she's not coming back so shut the fuck up and stop talking about what she could of been, because we don't know. Jessica is dead."

She looked away for a second before looking back, "Nicole, sometimes it's easier to lie to make ourselves feel better. The fact that you just spit it out like it was nothing means that a small part of you thinks that's a lie. You can say that all over again and louder but it won't change how you feel. I don't think Dad is the one holding on by a thread... I think it's you. You're the one holding onto that small piece of hope, hoping she's going to pop up one day... you're the one that's going to end up crazy, not dad." She said as she stood up. I looked away as she set her bowl in the sink and walked towards the exit of the kitchen, "goodnight Cole."

She's wrong, I'm not going crazy. I'm fine, I'm perfectly fine. I've accepted the fact that Jess is gone...

Am I sure that Jess is dead? No. Could she be? Yes. Is she? I don't know.

I don't know.

-

Happy Monday!