Thankful for Life's Many Blessings ✔

003

Letters to my messed-up neighbor, Christ

A pointer: he was born and raised in a Christian family, hence the controversial name choice.

Dear Christ,

at first I thought your name was simply Chris, for which you got offended. Hadn’t I known you, I wouldn’t have known that you were raised a Christian and that your parents had a quite particular taste when it came to naming.

But let’s talk about serious things: what did you do to yourself? Do you ever realize that you're screwing yourself up just because your ex-wife chose to leave you behind? Do you know that you still have a child to raise? Right now, you're not being responsible, keep that in mind.

Why did you even think of diving in the river towards your eternal doom? Why? Please, tell me. You know you can always ask for help, I'm always here to help who's in need.

Just remember who you are. You are Christ Bayles. You don't need anyone's approval. Just do what's best for Raylen, he really looks up to you. Forget Ariel. She only destroyed your life with false promises, and you preferred believing her. Why, may I ask? Why?

I know you won't be able to give me an answer right now, so please keep cool and only write when you feel comfortable to do so.

I'm really looking forward to reading your version of the story.

Yours sincerely,
Brogan

***

Dear Brogan,

thank you for taking your time to write a letter to your messed up neighbor. I thought people like you would never care about people like me. I mean, your life is beautiful compared to mine. So, don't say you're messed up, because that's not true; believe me.

The truth is, I married Ariel only because our parents wanted us to. That's it. I've never loved her, but I still carried out this absurd marriage just for Raylen's sake. I wanted him to be proud of me, as proud as of having a loving family. I failed.

I failed because Ariel was anything but a loving woman and she was always berating Raylen for even the silliest things. Every time we were supposed to have a civil talk, we just shouted to each other. As a matter of fact, she did most of the shouting. Or, at least, until she dared to hit me with a lamp just because we disagreed over money matters. She was accusing me of stealing money from her bank account, though she had no proof of me doing so.

The point is, she's a liar. She had the guts of accusing me deliberately of something she herself had done. I don't know if I can put up with this shit anymore. Seriously, Brogan, there are times where Ariel's parents come round and threaten to take Raylen away from me. I can't let this happen, though I know this is gonna happen, big time.

Please, tell me I still have a chance. Be honest. You don't trust me at all, though I still trust you. Every time I asked you to babysit Raylen for a couple of hours, you did so with such enthusiasm and passion. I'm still wondering whether Raylen will ever have your same drive, or whether I will ever find young and passionate people like you again.

I know, I'm self-pitying myself. But, seriously, I need to know I still have a chance. Otherwise, my life will be pointless.

Thank you for reading.

Yours sincerely,
Christ Bayles

***

Dear Christ,

thank you for those compliments. Yeah, I mean, I was stunned when I saw my so-called friends without a personality, with no backbone, with no will to fight for what they believe in. Better said, they have nothing to believe in. This is what angers me the most, yet most people won't understand me.

Yet, I still can't understand why on Earth you pity yourself. This is not good for your life, for your son's and for the ones of the people around you. I'm glad that you trust me, and you understand by yourself why I don't trust you.

I've seen you having such outbursts that made me fear for poor Raylen. There was a point when I was even afraid that he'd be beaten up sooner or later. Please tell me it's not you who beats him up, I don't want to believe he has an abusive father, too. An abusive and unloving mother is too much for him, let alone a set of parents like that.

Also, don't say your life is pointless. Life is never pointless. If you think so, I may believe you want to commit suicide. Anyway, you never told me why you attempted to drown yourself in the river. Are you trying to deny it happened? Are you trying to forget it? Forgetting an attempt of suicide is good, it usually makes people feel better. Denial, on the other hand, is bad. It won't help you to recover, it'll just drag you down to what you think your destiny should be.

So, enjoy life, for the good and for the bad times. It can surprise you, it can disappoint you, but you can't decide to dispose of it because of your growing dissatisfaction. You really need someone to talk to. A friend, for example. A real one, though, one who can relate to you. Not me, however.

I don't know why you're insisting on making amends with me. We're too different from each other. We have nothing in common. We're not compatible. We can't be friends if you keep messing up your life. I don't need people who mess up all the time around me.

Please, don't feel upset because I said these words. Just remember who you are, and live your life right.

Yours sincerely,
Brogan

***

Dear Brogan,

I understand what you're saying. Okay, your words stung me like a fucking bee, but I can't help feeling like that. You know I'm truly messed up and I hoped you'd help me, though I perfectly understand if you prefer parting with me.

I'll follow your advice and talk to a confidant, a real friend. Though, I don't know who my friends are. Who actually treated me as a friend? I don't know, seriously.

What matters, anyway, is that I take care of Raylen as well as I can and provide for his happiness. He doesn't deserve to have a total failure as a father. I need to shape up for his sake, and I'm gonna do whatever is in my power to protect him.

I know you won't be replying this last letter, so I'm just gonna wish you good luck for your future.

Thank you for taking your time to talk to me.

Yours sincerely,
Christ Bayles