Thankful for Life's Many Blessings ✔

005

Letters to the diffident librarian, Lainy

Dear Miss Trimble,

when I entered your library for the first time, I was literally sucked into a world of fantasy, bittersweet love stories, adventures and action. Words were intertwining in a marvelous net of creativity.

However, I was snapped back into reality by your menacious figure. Your deadly glares could cut the air, your frowns pushed everyone away, your raised eyebrows were a sign of your lack of interest in developing a sort of contact with other people. In other words, you were a monster. Better said, an inflexible, cruel and ice-cold witch.

To be honest, it was such a shame that an intelligent person like you behaved like that. The first time I saw you, I thought you were different. Your reaction always surprised me, but in a bad way, since I expected that you would change your attitude and show a more open mind.

Every time I approached you, I regretted doing so because you were always belittling me behind my back, making snide comments about my background and my so-called friends. There were also times, though, where you had no hesitation to slap sharp and harmful insults straight in my face.

What's worse was that you weren't alone. Your stupid colleagues seem to think exactly like you. Better said, they influenced you. I thought you were far more intelligent than that bunch of racist and classist idiotic bitches, but I was clearly wrong. I can't expect to be able to change people, after all.

Every time I sat at a table at the back of the library, I hoped you wouldn’t pass by because of your comments and your awful looks, but also because you always judged my reading choices, like you would actually care. That was a huge contradiction, let me tell you. Why would you come and criticize what I read if you made clear that you don’t care at all about me?

Remember, I only came to your library for the books, not for you. I don't need your snide comments. I don't need your glares. I don't need to see you yawn every time I or any other black person passes you. Maybe that's just a part of your upbringing, which further disappoints me. But, anyway, no-one is perfect, right?

Yet, you seem to focus on all the negative aspects of a person with your demeanor, which is not good. Your close-minded attitude scares people and prevent them from discovering your fantastic world. Is that what you want? Or maybe do you want to pass off as racist? Believe me, you don't want to, but I guess that’s who you are and I have to accept that.

That clearly doesn’t mean I’ll come back in spite of you, although I’d be tempted to do so if I had the chance. Okay, I don’t want to sound obnoxious, but it doesn’t look like you’ve done much to change your attitude so far, save for being a little more lenient on glares and snide comments lately.

Nevertheless, may I ask you a couple more questions? If you allow me to, of course. Why are you so attached to your pessimistic vision? Why can't you accept that the world is changing? Are you afraid of changes? Please, answer. It'd mean a lot to me.

I really hope that you finally open your eyes and realize that everyone is different and, therefore, differences are beautiful.

Yours sincerely,
Brogan Peters

***

Dear Brogan,

I think I remember you, since you used to come to my library every other Thursday. So, why did you stop coming? Is it because of something I did? By the way, I'm glad to have the chance to answer your questions.

First of all, however, call me Lainy. Miss Trimble gives me an old woman-like impression, which is not what I want to obtain. After all, I'm only twenty-nine, yet you treat me as if I am twice as old.

Secondly, I'm a very serious person, so I'm not used to smiling that much. Why are you surprised? Also, my stares may look threatening, but they're not glares, so stop avoiding me. I'm not gonna kill you, believe me!

You also asked me why I'm so attached to my vision. The truth is, I'm not attached to any vision, thus I believe your question is wrong. I'm not racist, I don't privilege white people for the sake of keeping the status quo intact, for God's sake! Who the hell told you that idiocy? Do you really believe what people whisper here in town?

I'm perfectly aware that the world is changing, and this is why I found solace in books and a refuge in this library.

Would you believe me if I said that I prefer books to people? Well, books can reflect my feelings and my emotions. I can relate to the characters. I can transport myself to the setting in place and time. I can pretend to be whoever I want, wherever I want. That's what I like the most of fiction.

Real life, in comparison, is dreary and delusional. You'll always be disappointed in something, believe me. I know exactly how you're feeling, Brogan, and I don't expect you to trust me - after all, we're not friends and we'll never be due to that misunderstanding.

So, I really hope you can let go of your rancor towards me and you can accept me for what I am, because I truly believe everyone needs a second chance.

Thank you for taking your time and reading my letter. It'd mean a lot if you answered.

Yours sincerely,
Lainy Trimble

***

Dear Lainy,

thank you for replying to this letter and answering my questions. Still, I don’t understand you when you say that you prefer books to people and fiction to real life. Not that I want to judge you, I just want to make things clear once for all, because what everyone deserves is that the truth is told. I've never liked lies, so I hope you got a convincing answer to this other question: why are you so diffident towards people?

I mean, is there something about them that bothers you? I think you can easily sort things out with them by being honest, there's nowhere to hide. And, most importantly, there is nothing to hide.

I know, it sounds like I'm rambling, and I apologize for that, but you need to understand that life will always reserve you some surprises, and you have to accept that. Otherwise, you're always gonna be disappointed in yourself and what surrounds you.

Again, I'm being overbearing, and you don't like that, but, please, try and make the effort to be a bit more likeable to other people, or else they'll despise you, no matter what you conceal behind that ice-cold mask.

So, I really hope I can go back to your library and be able to glance at you without being intimidated by your looks.

Thank you for answering and giving me the chance of explaining everything.

Yours sincerely,
Brogan

P.S.: don't forget to smile! Smiling people are usually more appreciated than their more serious, always frowning friends. It also makes your life much longer and happier - I'm not joking!