GRAYSOB: all this banquet nonsense just reminds me of last year
DAD: yea cause all you little fuckers wouldn't cooperate
GOLDICOCKS: that shit was so easy bruh
DAD: took us five hours to rehearse. FIVE.
JACOB: HOW IT TOOK US 30 MIN TOPS??!
YHASE: we wanted to stand in different places & everyone kept laughing
FRANKLIN: ohmygosh that was SO BAD
TATYUM: k was so pissed y'all
DAD: every time they practiced getting their awards they'd think they were so funny & pretend to give a speech but then jayson yelled too loud into the mic and broke a speaker
TATYUM: UH CHASE DROPPED LUKE'S AWARD AND BROKE IT SOOO
YHASE: AHAHA YEA I DID
DADDY: bruh how did chase have HIS award??
FUCKBOY: i don't even know
DAD: probably cause you were off getting to third base behind the curtain
MARKYS: that was traumatic
GRAYSOB: you think that was traumatic for YOU? try having the whole team see you with a PENIS in your mouth
DAD: and that's how we found out grayson was gay
GOLDICOCKS: BAHAHAHAHHAHA BRUH IM DEAD ASFFFFFFFF
FUCKBOY: try having the whole team see your penis
FUCKBOY: haha jk i love my dick, who wants pics
JACOB: i'll ask savannah for some 🙈
FUCKBOY: okay honestly though like leak my nudes bitch idc
DAD: he'd get more enjoyment out of that than anything
MARKYS: if anyone ever leaked my nudes i'd probably fake my own death and move to cuba
PRINCESS WENDELLA: mARQUES?!?!?
MB3FIVE: WHAAAAAAAAAT
JACK BLACK: CRIKEY MATE I WOULDA NEVER THOUGHT YOU OF ALL PEOPLE!!!
MARKYS: don't act like y'all don't have dick pics in your 'my eyes only' folder, cause ya do
TRICKY TRE: if i wasn't going to the nba, i think i'd be a pornstar, cause my dick is popping
GOLDICOCKS: first of all, ew
FUCKBOY: my summer job is gonna be porn
FRANKLIN: STOP MY GOOD BOY MORMON EARS ARE HURTING
YHASE: what if we all just made a sex tape
YHASE: like
YHASE: all 29 of us
MB3FIVE: what if we all just killed ourselves
MARKYS: dang
TATYUM: i can think of at least 14 people who would buy a copy lets do it
DAD: stop being a terrible role model for jj
HG: MY SOOOOOOON
GRAYSOB: omg i just read that as 'my soon' why am i a literal dumbass
DADDY: well
GRAYSOB: dont answer that
BINKY: i am in porn
MARKYS: what
BINKY: what
YHASE:
BINKY: thats my headshot
BINKY: i'm sexy as hell
PRINCESS WENDELLA: YOU'RE LYING
PRINCESS WENDELLA: THOUGHT YALL SAID HE WAS BORING
BINKY: looking bored & being boring are hella different big boy
BINKY: meet me in the lakers locker room after we play ya team next year & i'll show ya how borin i am
PRINCESS WENDELLA: NO NO NO
TRICKY TRE: can i meet you??
BINKY: no
TRICKY TRE: wtf
YHASE: BRANDON STOP PROSTITUTING YOURSELF
DAD: that's a sentence i never thought i'd see
JUSTITS: y'all need to chill ya dicks
QUINNY: you ain't one to talk, mask-stepper
JUSTITS: ON GOD JOEL WAS GONNA CATCH MY FUCKIN FISTS IN HIS GODDAMN MOUTH
GOLDICOCKS: i'm scared
FRANKLIN: ditto
MOM: all i want
MOM: is just one, nice conversation that doesn't involve penises.
MOM: just ONE.
YOU ARE READING
𝙣𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙮 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙢𝙥𝙨 • group chat au
Humorthis is my completely fictional interpretation of what goes in the group chat of the duke men's basketball team.
