Dear,
I wanted to call you and tell you about this movie I watched last night, but your phone number didn't feel like 911, because suddenly this panic-attack didn't qualify as an emergency.
My fingers went numb and I could feel the distance right in my chest.
After the day, you told me about your new friend and how absolutely brilliant and beautiful they are, things have changed ever since.
I know you tried, you tried more than anyone ever has but I'm sorry I happen to think: that you no more belong to me; that I cannot look upto you anymore; that I might be getting into the way of your happiness.
I cannot help it, because all these years and all these people taught me that they will leave me.
The thoughts of our dreams turning into the dreams of you and your new friend, the renewal of to-do lists, their place becoming your new crashing spot haunt me.
Their becoming your new shitty singing concert buddy and movie mate and partner-in-crime and secret keeper makes me sad.
I know you will try to prove it to me a hundred times that I am not replaced but: the one time your phone is busy at four in the morning, I won't be able to breath; the one time you do not respond to my texts, I will cry myself to sleep; the one time I hear how happy they make you I will stop talking because it'll seem pointless; the one time I see you doing those crazy stupid things with them, I will distance myself beyond your reach.
You know I can't share the person I've held for so long and so close. For I hope you remember that I am the kind of person who forgets themself when you forget them even if for a minute.
I have come to a realisation that life is so tiny and unfair. It does not give us enough chances and even though we think we have a forever we don't. So this is to the forever we have shared for one last time. I am grateful for the times we have shared and the deep love and care but I will never be the same again, not around you.
I had like to not ruin us with my insecurities. I hope you make the best of friends with your new friend and share our stories with laughter and love.
Love,
Your Former Home.
~~~~♥~~~~
I hope you never have to go through this, but if you did, It gets better. Always :)
YOU ARE READING
15 Shades Of Blue
PoesíaI poured my heart in the words that are felt by everyone but said by a few, in different relationships with a series of 15 letters. They are written with love during the times I felt blue. I hope they remind you of good times and make you feel a lit...
