SHITTY SHITS

62

lately, i've been feeling so blue
all these nights i spent with you
oh god i didn't have a clue
you were cheating at my back with my pretty boo.

i didn't have any ideas in mind.
dont know how to start or even end it right.
the reason why i left, the reason i got silent.
all of these thoughts got locked up on my head.

fck. i can't write a word.
i became a mute.
i didn't have any topics nor ideas to tell y'all. i failed.
that's what i know.
currently stuck between embracing the light or to just stay in the dark.
i wanna cry for help but i know no one  will understand,
how hard this is, how hard to think of any way to get out of this place.

i'm shaking my head.
with both palms on my face.
i don't know what to do.

i thought for a second, is this even right?
we didn't end well.
we didn't have enough time to explain.
we just had it all blasted, right?

the world we once have, was just... gone.
i know it's embarassing to tell everyone but this is how our story goes right?
day by day, we have a brand new fight.
prides are up, no one wants to stand down.
i know for myself that i am right but you didn't even bother to ask why.

staring blankly at my phone, waiting for your text and calls.
hoping that the green button beside your icon will turn on.
i talked to my friends but i didn't have the courage to open up things to them.
only one knew though. well, thanks for him.

for days, i waited.
my delivered messages and sent texts, they were stored there.
but as those days passed, i feel so tired.
i am giving up.

clearly, i was reaching for help and attention when he came and settled his tent on my own lonely world.
hearing my stories and confessions,
things i was eagered to tell you.

day by day, we talked.
forgetting the thought of you and i on our dark world.
garnering the light that's been hiding beside a man who i felt was so nice.

he made me happy.
he made me laugh.
he made my day go on with a flash of smile before i fall.
he honestly saved me.

and as just time went by, the thought of you and i was gone.
you didn't came back and now i am so sure that i got this mens heart already.
we laughed and cried.
we dived and ride.
we created our own adventure park.
i now know who deserves me the most.
i feel so alive and i thank him for that.

***
y'all know that when chapters like this starts with small letters it's a draft right? so excuses. :> i'll edit this when i have time cause now... i'm just not on my mood ._.