SHITTY SHITS

83

i keep trying to be good.
i keep trying to be a better one.
but how can i do such things if you're the one ripping me apart?

all i ever wanted was to make you all proud.
all happy at me, at the good things i have done.
but how can i go on if you keep pinning me down?

tell me, where's your support? where?
was it crashed? burned?
all i see is your face that's frowning.
unhappy about the things i'm doing.
judging me, again and again.
don't you know how hard it is to make an effort?
wasting my time just to make you say, "oh great job."

never in my life have i heard those words.
even the happy pill that i once considered, turned out to be one of the reasons why i'm breaking.

feeling the blood rushing down my wrist, the scarcing pain it leaves.
here i am, back at my depression.
the crooked wall i stood is now banged with negative thoughts, entering me, the whole me.

here i am at the suicidal thoughts, my precious lingering fantasies.
the people i used to have and promised to keep forever, now gone.
now i'm left alone. though i know i can make it, i turned to be bitter towards them.

the fake smiles are here again.
my shutted mouth firmed till the end.
i try to make everyone happy, but i'm done.
no one saves me even at the end.

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hi. i'm not sure if this is an official comeback but i'll try writing and updating this book more. I MISSED Y'ALL ❤ oh and i'm not 14 anymore btw. 😂 turned 15 last july 17 HAHAHA sneaky me