SHITTY SHITS

72

Dear Ex

it's so funny how i thought you and i are close.
you WERE my boyfriend but i never did mention any personal things.
we were stuck in the 'conservative' side.
it's like being on a first date everyday.
but as every relationships do, we faded.

but i never really thought that we weren't that open with each other, until now.
now that were off with our own world.
i never did knew your family.
just your sisters name and that was it.
i never did visited your house and saw how your bedroom looks like. 
i never did encounter one of your friends and talked to them in person.
i never did knew your classmates nor your schedule.

it's just sad.
we were on the way to a 2 year one but we faltered.
it doesn't makes me mad though.
it's just like a wonderful story we created but we got cliffhanged.

i thought everything was alright.
everything was going fine and great till dark thoughts covered me.
i got depressed, you know that.
BUT YOU DIDN'T DO A THING!
instead, you mind your own self.
you didn't asked if i was okay.
nor asked if how was my day.
you didn't even had the guts to comfort me when i was alone without anyone on my side.
even you that i thought i could be trusted was far, far away.

yes, it did made me angry, now.
remembering how things happened with you.
i let out a cry while writing this but it lasted for a minute and two.
i was hurt.
i was down.
i was DEPRESSED.
AND YOU DIDN'T DO A THING.

instead, you let me wandered on the forest,
leaving me lost and unwanted.
you didn't budge to ask anything.
you didn't paid me your attention.
as i'm walking with my bare foot, i saw him.
i saw a guy that i thought could help me on the way out.
he guided me.
he told me things i never heard from anyone.
he loved me, made me feel wanted and all unlike you.

as the sun shined, same as my happy side.
the gray clouds and thunders you created were all washed away.
looking at him, he looks happy.
but i know it'll be the end.
it was all a fraud.
all the love and affection?
it was all a form of act.
he wore a mask and as time went by, his sinister smile was showing.
he was a nightmare,
a nightmare i never wanted to be in.

facing the dark again, it was all of you boys created.
oh and not all the boys, all the PEOPLE who hurted me.
i clung myself up on the rope,
slowly getting out of breath.
it was the end.

UNTIL the only friend I have came and brought me down,
helped me on the way out.
but to be honest, i didn't really need someone to guide me nor help me.
just me, myself and i.
look at me now. strong and bold.
acting as if nothing had happened.
smiling as the pain goes away.

now he wants me back.
the lightning and the thunder crashed against my peaceful world.
NO.
i don't need you anymore.

***
oops