The Moon. (Newt fanfic)

Chapter: 18

  I woke, gasping for air. It had felt as if I hadn't breathed in my sleep and I had died and came back to life. I sat up.... well I tried. When I tried to sit up, my head felt like the skin was tearing off of my scalp. I groaned in pain.

"Hey! Easy, easy, easy. Lie back down, I'm not done with your stitches." Clint said, pushing me back down.

"Ouch!" I yelped.

"I'm sorry. You got a pretty bad gash." He said, as he was pulling at my skin. I tried to hold as still as I could. 'Shuck, it hurt!'

"Hey you're awake!" Said Newt, hobbling in with Jeff glued to his side. Jeff sat Newt down on the bed next to me. Newt took my hand and gave it a squeeze. I knew that was a message, saying that I could squeeze when I needed to. Which I did. I was hoping I wasn't crushing his hand, but he didn't seem to mind.

"It's okay." He whispered. Clint turned my head to the side, so I was facing Newt. I held eye contact with him. His chocolate eyes offering comfort. There was just something about him that drew me to him..... Like magnets. 'I love him' That's all I knew and I needed to tell him. The only problem was, did he love me, too? Maybe, maybe not, but I needed to make a move.

"Done! Just be carful not to rip them out and I would suggest not running for a few days." Clint said.

"Shuck! But I need to help Minho! I've got to help Gorge tomorrow!" I exclaimed. Clint looked at Newt with sad eyes. Newt gave him a small nod and Clint and Jeff walked out, only leaving Newt and I. I sat up and crossed my arms, and looked at Newt.

"Okay, so just try to stay calm for me, okay? Um, we're having a gathering soon... for you." He said, cautiously.

"What?! Why?"

"Well.... We need to discuss what had been happening with you, and a few of us think you should stop running the maze." He said. 'What the shuck! Why? Ugh! Why can't I be like everyone else and not remember!'

"Why the hell does everyone else get to make decisions for me?! You know what have a stupid gathering! I'm not COMING!" I scream, I get off the bed and run to my room. When I get up there I slam my door shut. I could feel my body heating up. I looked at myself in the mirror.

My long brown hair was insane. It was all over the place. My face was red with anger and my eyes brimmed with tears. I cried. I collapsed on the floor sobbing horribly. I couldn't take it anymore. The memories, thoughts, and being the only girl we're slowly driving me insane! 'Ahhhh!' I wanted to scream out all of my anger and sadness.

I looked at my mirror again. I couldn't stand myself anymore. I looked horrible and tired and.... I don't even recognize myself anymore! Who was I? Who's is this?! 'I bet Newt doesn't even like me. He's just my friend because he Pity's me! Who would love me?! I'm a freak! I'm a monster!' I sobbed harder.

I looked straight into the mirror and said to myself, "Your Nothing! Nobody would love you! You're a freak! You're stupid! I HATE YOU!! I HATE YOU!!" My chest rose and fell faster than it should. I could feel my heart, pounding.

I felt so much anger inside. Maybe I'm the reason we are all still here. I haven't tried hard enough. I knew what I had to do. I looked at the time on my watch. It was lunch time. I had 5 hours to do what I needed to do. I grabbed my bag and opened my door.

I ran down the stairs and out homestead's door. I ignored all of the people shouting my name. I didn't care. I was going to get them out of here. I needed to find a way out. I reached the doors of the maze. I looked behind me and saw people running towards me. I turned to the maze and I ran. Into the maze. I knew the gladers wouldn't follow me, but I ran harder. 'Here I go!'
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I had been running for 3 hours and I had found nothing. 'NOTHING!' I had checked every nook and cranny, but there was no way out! 'NO! There has to be a way!' I collapsed on the ground and cried. 'Shuck my life!' I'm not going to get out of here, by sitting on my butt for days, I'm going to get out by running this shucking maze!