I, Death

Monday February 13, 2012 - 6:36 PM

Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day.

I think it’s going to be hard. But I’ll get through it. I spent the entire weekend closed up in my room listening to music and playing X-Box, just trying to get the image of Sarah talking with Chad out of my head. I spent hours playing through Ultimate Spider-Man. Sure, it’s an older game on an older game system but it’s a pretty awesome one. You spend part of the game playing as Spidey and the other part playing as Venom.

It’s not as good as the Spider-Man 2 game was, which I still enjoy farting around with, but it’s still pretty decent. It has an incredible open environment to roam around in, some good challenges and intense fighting action.

Lord knows I can use the fighting action to let off a little steam.

For the past couple of months I’ve been pretty good while sitting on the bus. Pretty good about picking a spot where I can’t see Sarah and she can’t see me.

But this morning, for the first time since we broke up, she was sitting in a seat across the aisle just a few rows ahead. And there was nobody blocking my view. I tried to focus on my Gameboy, then tried to read my magazine, but I couldn’t help continually looking up trying to catch another glimpse of her.

And I try not to think about what Sarah and I would likely have planned for tomorrow. And with that, of course, wondering if she's going to be doing something with this Chad guy who's been hanging around her a lot lately.

This must be what addicts go through when exposed to that thing — whatever it happens to be for their addiction — that pushes them over the edge. I guess, for me, Sarah is that thing. I'm over her, I'm really trying to be. But when I get close to her, when I see her again, I have to “get over it” all over again.

Tomorrow is not going to be easy.

Fuckin’ Valentine's Day. Another seasonal “in your face” reminder of lost love. Yeah, like I need that.

– 3 Comments –

Frank said...

Like it is any coincidence that Valentine’s Day and Venereal Disease have the same initials. Yeah Peter, giving up Sarah is like trying to shake a drug addiction or a disease.

MaliceAD said...

Love, when done correctly, will give you an euphoria similar to being high. Peter, you are going through withdrawal...but you can make it. You must believe.

Trish said...

I feel your pain, buddy. I've had many such Valentine's Days.