Let's Try it Again

[9]

She opened her eyes to see that it was dawn, the rosy hue of the sun broke through the half-open window.

She lay there in the semi dark, listening to see if she was the only one awake. Then,she heard laughter coming from downstairs.

She turned her head to see her clock on the nightstand. It was a little past six in the morning. Just a few more hours and then they would be back on the road.

With a huge yawn, she stretched and threw the pink comforter off of her and walked over to her drawer. She got out a change of clothes. And as she did, she paused and looked at the posters on the wall, a smile on her lips. It was almost surreal to think that downstairs, they were in her kitchen, eating her food. She shut the drawer and headed down the hall to where the bathroom was located.

She spent an extra ten minutes under the water, her eyes closed, and her head resting on the blue tile. She let the water wash away the feeling she had that morning, and regret was high on her list. She let her hormones and her emotions get the best of her and she was afraid she had made a big mistake.

She quickly dressed, towels dried her hair, applied some make-up and slowly made her way downstairs, not wanting to face Donnie.

"Good morning sweetie." Kathy smiled as she turned from the stove, a spatula in hand. The guys were sitting at the table eating breakfast. Piled on the table were plates of eggs, bacon, pancakes and biscuits and gravy.

"Goodness Ma," Amelia said as she walked up to the coffee pot. "You feeding an army?"

Donnie looked up and noticed her standing near the coffee pot. He gave her a smile and then turned his attention back to Jordan.

Joe smiled. "Have a seat." He pointed to a seat next to him, feeling angry again when he noticed her red, puffy eyes. He knew one thing, if she were with him, there would never be anymore crying.

Amelia shook her head. "No. Not hungry" She grabbed the newspaper off the table, took her cup of coffee and headed to the patio. It was a little awkward now between her and Donnie., and She had to get away from all the tension.

She was sipping her coffee, when she heard the patio door slid open. She looked up from the newspaper to see Donnie., and then She turned her attention back to the paper. "Morning."

He sat down across from her. "You avoiding me?"

"No." She didn't look up from the paper.

"Damn it." Donnie yanked the newspaper away from her. "Don't start this again. Why are you like this? Why do you have to be so difficult? I thought things last night fixed all of that?"

She felt her lip tremble as tears stung her eyes. She looked down at the coffee mug, wrapping her hands around the blue ceramic. She savored the warmth, staring into the dark liquid, willing it to give her the strength . "No." Her voice was small. "It made it worse."

"Then why didn't you stop me?"

She looked up and met his gaze. "Because. I didn't know I didn't want to." She sighed. "I know you meant well. Donnie...but.."

"But what?" He pressed.

She got up from the table and stopped and looked at him. "It doesn't matter."

Donnie balked and looked at her. "What? Just tell me?"

She shook her head. "Never mind."

***
"Hey."

Caite Lynn sat next to Amelia on the couch of the tour bus. They were headed to LA. Donnie, Jordan, Danny and Jon were playing a game of poker. Donnie would look up every once in a while and look at her. When she would turn from talking to Caite, he would look back down at his hands.