Let's Try it Again

Time Will Heal the Scars You Left

"Amelia..hey..you need someone to look at that."

She was sitting in a chair looking straight ahead at the wall. This is where she had been since she arrived at the ER an hour ago. She refused anyone to look at her, touch her, talk to her. She was in a comatose state.

But when she heard his voice, she shifted her attention from the wall, to see Joe kneeling in front of her.

"What?"

When Joe walked into the ER to see her sitting in that chair, covered in blood, it scared him. There was blood in her hair, on her shirt, soaked into her jeans. Her hands were shaking. He reached over and put his hands over them, to still them.

"Your leg." There was a small cut on her leg where a piece of shrapnel had cut her.

"I'm..fine." She whispered.

"Honey." He reached up and brushed a piece of hair out of her eyes. "Let's get you home. Get you cleaned up."

She looked down at her hands to see the blood. Her lip began to tremble, her hands began to shake as the horror over came her again. She began to sob, lifting her hands to her face. "I..I can't...it's all I have..." She slid out of the chair and Joe caught her, falling to the floor with her. She began to sob. "He's dead."

Joe sighed and put her head against his chest, running his hands along her hair, his chin placed on the top of her head. "I'm so sorry."

******
She sat on the bed, a necklace in her hand, the sound of people were heard downstairs talking and laughing. It was hard to believe that just a week ago, she lost her love, her friend. She was dressed in a black dress, unable to move from this spot.

She never said goodbye to him, she never told him that she loved him one last time, didn't get to kiss him on his soft lips one last time.

She tore her gaze off the St. Michael necklace and looked over at the picture on the nightstand. It was a picture of her and Bryan at the harbor. It had been taken a couple of weeks ago. She was sitting in front of him, her head on his chest, his strong arms wrapped around her. Tears filled her green eyes as she realized she would never feel those arms around her again.

Someone knocked on her bedroom door, but she didn't care, she just wanted to crawl into bed, put the covers over her head and just disappear.

Ali poked her head in to see her sitting on the edge of the bed, a gold necklace looped through her fingers, mascara on her cheeks. "Amelia, everyone's asking where you are."

Not looking up, she shook her head. "I can't face them. I can't stand the looks on their faces. If one more person asks me how I am, I swear to God, I'm gonna scream." She said through gritted teeth. "How do I look Ali? Huh? You tell me. I just lost my fiance. Is everyone expecting me to crack up? Go crazy? Because that's they way they are treating me right now."

Ali walked into the room and sat down next to Amelia. She put her arm around her, pulling Amelia to her. "Hey, it's OK. If you do. I am here for you and so is Joe and the rest of the guys. They are all worried about you. You just lost someone you love. It's OK to crack up."

She began to sob. She had been holding in the tears since that day of the mall shooting. She had to sign for his personal items, ID his body, leaving him lying there, knowing he wouldn't be coming home to her, with his goofy grin that was just for her, never to share her bed anymore. She had just shut her emotions off completely, now as one of her good friends held her, she began to cry.

"He didn't take this with him." She cried. "Oh god, Ali,he's gone. I can't go on, this hurts so much."

Ali laid her chin on Amelia's head and rubbed her back. "I know it does." She felt tears come to her. "Let me tell you this. OK? I know you hate to hear this, but these things happen for a reason. OK? These things were set in motion before we were even born. Trust me when I say something good is going to come out of this. I know you loved Bryan, we all did. He was a good man. He loved you so much. You needed him in your life to help you heal from Justin and now his time is over."

Ali looked up when the door opened and noticed Joe. He looked at Amelia, who was holding a necklace in her hand.

"She OK?" He mouthed.

Ali motioned for Joe to come in. "Melia, there is someone here to see you."

Amelia looked up to see Joe and she broke down again as he came over and joined her on the bed and Ali got up to leave to attend to the guests downstairs, which consisted of friends, family and co workers.

Joe looked at her and his heart broke, he hated seeing her in this much pain. He never realized how much she loved Bryan until now and it hurt a little, but he understood.

"They guys haven't seen you since the...incident..they are worried about you...so am I."

She let out a shaky breath and took the Kleenex Joe gave her and he looked up to see her wedding dress hanging on the closet door and she broke down again.

"This isn't fair. We were supposed to get married in June. Go to Jamaica, spend our lives together. And some mother fucker took that away from me."

Joe sat there as she cried, not knowing what to do, but as she began screaming, he took her in his arms and held her and silently cried along with her, knowing she needed all the support in the world right now.

Joe had held Amelia so tight to his body, her shoulders shook with every sob. He tried to comfort her the best he could, he hated seeing her like this.

About 15 minutes later, Amelia raised her head and looked into Joe's blue eyes. He looked at her, took the necklace from her finger and said softly.

"Let's put this on you. Bryan would want you to wear it for your own protection."

He undid the clasp and placed it around her neck, closing it back up. She looked down and picked it up and looked at the Saint on the front. She said softly.

"He left this here Joe, when he left for work. He always wore it to work. But that morning, he forgot. The bullet that killed him, missed his vest. If he would have worn this..."

Joe took his finger and wiped the tears and mascara from her face. "He left it for you Mis. If he was standing in front of you right now, he would probably say that you needed it more than he ever did. He loved you Amelia. I now understand that love and I just wanted you to be happy. I still want for you to be so very happy, for if you weren't, it would tear at my heart."

Amelia looked up into Joe's eyes and smiled. "Thank you, Joe. That means a lot to me. It really does."

They enveloped themselves in another hug and then heard someone clearing their throat in the hallway. "Sorry to interrupt, but everyone is waiting Amelia."

Ali was at the door and she had heard every word between the two of them. Joe had grown into an incredible person and was finally facing the fact that he was allowed by a higher power to move on with his life, whether it was with Amelia or not.

Amelia turned to him. "Will you stay with me during this time? Help me out?"

Joe smiled and wrapped his arm around her. "Of course." He got off the bed and helped her up.

. For the first time since Bryan's death, there was a glow in her eye. Ali had noticed it and she smiled as she saw them all interacting with everyone.

As Amelia was receiving well wishes from everyone, she looked over to see Joe talking to Jamie and her hand went to her stomach.

How much longer could she keep this secret she was carrying?