Room 1013

In My Body

Keith fidgeted as he slowly woke, stretching his arms and yawning. He touched something warm and pulled his hand back to find the source. Lance had made himself a spot next to him on the hospital bed. Keith thought he was dreaming for a second, but quickly realized he wasn't. He pushed himself up to sit and looked down at him. Hesitantly, he touched Lance's cheek with the tips of his fingers.

Keith finally noticed the time. The room was dark, but the various machines casted a faint blue glow into the thick air. He turned back to Lance and poked his shoulder. "Lance."

Keith repeated the action. "Lance."

Lance groaned and blinked the sleep from his eyes, "Mm-what?"

A wide smile pulled on Keith's lips, "You're here."

His eyes finally adjusted to the light and looked up to him. "Of course I am." He rolled onto his side and lifted his hand to cup Keith's cheek. His voice was laced with sleep. "I'm always gonna be here."

Keith gazed back lovingly, "You're so cute."

"Come here." Lance pulled him down, but Keith fought against it.

"Wait! I have morning breath."

Lance snickered, "I don't care." He brought Keith into a soft kiss. Keith slid his legs down to lie next to him and wrap his arms around his neck. The kiss deepened as Lance ran his hands over Keith's waist. Lance rolled over to hold himself above him. Keith laced his fingers into his hair and cradled his head. They pulled away for a second, keeping their foreheads connected.

Keith's lashes flickered up to Lance's eyes, "Do you wanna?"

Lance chuckled in disbelief, "What?"

Keith repeated himself, slower this time. "Do you want to?"

Lance's eyes squinted in a curious joy, "Keith, we're in a hospital." He inspected his face, "Wait, are you high?"

Keith giggled, "I'm on so many drugs right now." His fingers trailed down Lance's abdomen, "So I don't care if we're here."

Lance snatched his wrist and held it down to the bed to restrain him. "Alright," he scolded, "We're saving you for marriage."

Keith stared up at him with sparkling eyes, "Then marry me."

Lance shook his head in amazement, "Oh my god, you are so high right now." He rolled back to his side and let go of his wrists.

"I'm serious," Keith whined. He turned his head to face him, curling up on his side. "I'm dying anyway."

Lance stared at the ceiling and took a deep breath. He turned to look at him with concerned eyes. "Keith," he spoke in a low whisper, "why didn't you tell me you were in Hospice?"

Keith's mouth opened to respond, but quickly shut. He couldn't find the words. Lance was too important to him. How could he ever tell him he gave up? How could he say it and bear all the disappointment that festered into his beautiful blue? Keith didn't want to tell him because then Lance would always hold that against him-and he couldn't handle the torture of it. Instead of responding, he turned over and faced the other way without a word. Looking at Lance would only bring pain now. He wrapped his hands around his stomach and curled his knees up. "I'm tired."

Lance sighed and rubbed his face with frustrated palms. "Alright." He put his arm over Keith's waist.

Keith pushed his arm off and tensed up.

"Oh, Keith," Lance returned his arm to his waist and held him to his chest. "I'm not mad." He kissed his hair, "I could never be mad at you."

Keith's throat tightened, "Even though I gave up?"

Lance nuzzled his forehead into the back of his neck, "You didn't give up. That's not what Hospice means."

Keith turned back around to look into his eyes, "But what if I meant it like that?"

Lance's eyes inspected him carefully. They were full of softness and care. "You didn't."

"But what if I did?"

He shook his head, then brought a hand up to stroke Keith's cheek. "You've fought this your entire life." His fingers wrapped around the back of Keith's head and pulled it to his chest. "I could never be mad that you wanted to simply live instead of fight." Lance squeezed his waist and kissed his hair. "How could I be mad that you're tired?"

Keith's eyes teared up. He latched onto Lance's shirt and made himself a home in his chest. He linked their legs together and melted into him. "This means I'm gonna die."

Lance's chest soothed Keith with all the vibrations of every word he spoke. "Even with treatment, you could die tomorrow."

"Why don't you just leave me? Go and find a beautiful girl and live your life." Keith clamped his eyes shut. Every sentence broke his heart; but if Lance could be happy, then Keith would give him up in a heartbeat. "Just go live a life you love."

Lance leaned back to look down at him. He lifted his chin and gazed into his eyes, "You are my life; and I love you more than you know."

Keith swallowed his tears, "Don't be naïve. We've only known each other for like three months."

Lance flashed a gentle smile, "That's a lifetime for you."

Keith took a deep breath, holding back the urge to smile. "You're crazy."

He laughed, "Oh, definitely." He leaned down to kiss Keith's chapped lips. "Doesn't mean it's not true." Lance's deep blue locked onto Keith's crystal violet, "I love you; and I'm sticking this out until the end-whenever that may be."

Keith lowered his gaze. His lips quivered as he hesitated. "Then," he gathered up all the courage he could. His eyes returned to Lance, "Then marry me."

Lance chuckled as the corners of his mouth twitched into a smile, "That again?"

Keith bit his lip and nodded. "I'm serious this time."

Lance blew air out through his teeth, "And I'm the crazy one."

"I'm," Keith pitifully hit his chest, "being," another hit, "serious."

Lance caught his hands and laced their fingers together, "Okay. I hear you and I see you."

"You sound like a therapist."

Lance's chest bounced with a laugh, "A good one?"

Keith groaned, "Marry me!"

Lance gently closed his eyes and took a happy breath. "Hmm...let's talk about it tomorrow. I promise we'll talk about it seriously."

Keith lowered his chin and stared up at him, "If I wake up and you're gone, I'll hunt you down and chop your dick off."

Lance unlaced their fingers and wrapped his arms around Keith's shoulders. "No need to worry." He gave him a quick goodnight kiss and settled into bed. "I'll stay in this bed for as long as you do."